Thursday, December 31, 2015 is taking a vacation (sort of)

I'm getting married in Jamaica.  Depending on the time of day you're reading this, I'm either on the plane right now, or already there basking in the sun.  After nearly five years of daily blogs, I've decided I've earned a break.

However, I'm not quite ready to let go of my streak of 1,760-some consecutive days with a post on the site, so I've scheduled some "reruns."  The TV networks all do it this time of year, so why shouldn't I?

The reruns begin tomorrow and will "air" for the next 10 days while I'm out of the country.

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Having the college football playoffs on New Year's Eve is mindbogglingly stupid

I don't have any hard data to support this, but my years of bartending experience tells me I'm right: More people go out to bars and restaurants on New Year's Eve than any other night of the year (especially the "amateurs" who don't usually go out at all).

Which brings to mind this question: If you were going to schedule a major sporting event and hope for a big TV audience, wouldn't you want to pick literally any other night than that one?  Yet somehow the college football playoffs is giving us a pair of games on December 31st, the second of which begins at 8 p.m.  If it runs long (which seems like a good bet considering it'll probably have a 45-minute halftime show) it'll come dangerously close to overlapping with midnight.

I wonder how many marriages will be put in jeopardy by the dilemma of having to choose between Ryan Seacrest and Michigan St. vs. Alabama?  Just a ridiculously idiotic move by the college football playoffs.

I almost think ESPN is actually making fun of itself with this commercial for stupidly getting stuck in this situation:

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Patriots biggest threat in the AFC: Kansas City Chiefs?

All season long it's been the Broncos and Bengals who've battled New England for AFC supremacy.

Recently the hot topic of conversation is that the Steelers might be the team the Patriots are most afraid of, to the point that the Pats may have even lost to the Jets on purpose in order to keep Pittsburgh out of the postseason (I think that's crazy--there's no way Bill Belichick decided to give up clinching the No. 1 seed with a week to go because he's afraid of a potential second-round playoff opponent who may or may not even get there).

As it sits now, the Steelers could well be out.  Denver and and Cincinnati are both using backup quarterbacks.  Who's the top threat to New England returning to the Super Bowl?

The Chiefs were once 1-5.  Now they are 10-5.  Nine straight wins is a pretty big deal in the NFL (sidebar--Arizona has also won nine in a row, and I'm expecting them to take the NFL title).  Kansas City has allowed just 12.3 points per game during their winning streak.  Do I think they'll win the AFC?  No, but they have as good a shot as anybody else does.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Dave Henderson was responsible for my first sports-fan memory

Dave Henderson passed away yesterday.  He's the man who created my earliest pro-sports memory:

On October 12, 1986, the Red Sox trailed the California Angels 3-1 in the ALCS.  Boston entered the top of the ninth inning of Game 5 down 5-2.

My father wheeled the TV from the living room into the dining room so we could watch it while we ate dinner.  It's the first (and maybe only?) time I remember that happening.

First, Don Baylor hit a two-run homer to make it 5-4.  Then three batters later, with the Angles a strike away from going to the World Series, "Hendu" did this:

That ankle-spraining jump on his way to first base is an image I can still see clearly in my head nearly 30 years later.  Henderson hit the game-winning sacrifice fly in the 11th inning as well.  Boston eventually came all the way back to take the series in seven games.

The crazy thing I'll never forget is that Henderson was also responsible for the Red Sox falling behind in the first place that day:

Sunday, December 27, 2015

The Patriots' offensive line features three 1990's NBA big men all rolled into one

I'm not sure how I missed this back on draft day.  Maybe it's because I pretty much hate the NFL draft.  Regardless, this nugget of information was just recently brought to my attention, and I'm going to pass it on to others who may not have heard:

The Patriots have a rookie offensive lineman named Shaq (short for Shaquille) Mason.  That part is common knowledge.  What may not be, however, is that his middle name is Olajuwon.  Apparently his mother was a big fan of both superstar NBA centers.

Unfortunately Shaq Mason, born in 1993, bears no relation to Shaquille O'Neal, Hakeem Olajuwon or the late Anthony Mason (pictured below).

Saturday, December 26, 2015

How did I miss this Gronk commercial being filmed in South Boston?

It appears Rob Gronkowksi never actually made it to Southie himself (just his brother Dan, and who knows, since you only see his back maybe it wasn't even him), but still--there are literally four different street corners in this ad that I walk by on my way to work.

Friday, December 25, 2015

Awesome Old Christmas Song of the Week: "The Little Drummer Boy" by Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band

Bob Seger's version of The Little Drummer Boy is one of the many great tracks from the 1987 album A Very Special Christmas:

Previous AOSOTW Christmas selections:

Winter Wonderland by the Eurythmics
All I Want for Christmas is You from Love Actually
The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't be Late)
Santa Clause is Coming to Town by Bruce Springsteen

Thursday, December 24, 2015

The best part of the amazing taco commercial featuring terrible burgulars

Yeah, it's kind of lazy of me to grab this video that has already made it's way across the internet and use it for a blog post.  But, I decided to do it anyway for two reasons:

1) My irrational love of tacos.

2) From working many years in restaurants, I have a tiny bit of insight into this situation that the average person might not--there's a 99.999% chance that there isn't any money in those registers.  It's in a safe in the office.

I'd love to see a video of when the thieves got home and busted them open...

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Is the woman who won $100,000 on a 15-team $5 parlay the most annoying person ever?

Here's the full story from, but all you need to see are these quotes:

"On Sunday morning, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch talking about how spreads worked. He was frustrated since I wasn't getting it right away."

The thing is, "wasn't getting it right away" is a lie.  She didn't get it, period.  Shortly afterwards she made the following bet:

When she was informed that she won $100,000 at 20,000-to-1 odds, she said the following:

"I remembered that I picked the Giants and they lost. So I thought it was strange when I looked at it [Tuesday] morning and saw that I won."

The Giants lost by three, but as you can see in the above picture, they were getting five points.

What really infuriates me about this story is that the woman has a Boston Celtics tattoo on her hip.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

I bet you can't name the last two Celtics players to have 10+ assists in the same game?

In addition to Kevin Garnett's potential farewell to Boston, something else highly unusual occurred at the TD Garden last night.  Isaiah Thomas Thomas dished out 12 assists, while Evan Turner distributed another 10 of his own.

When they both had nine midway through the fourth quarter, I began to wonder how rare it was to see a pair of teammates each record double-digit assists in the same game.  I posed the question to two of my favorite stats guys, former colleague Adam Lowenstein, and Celtics radio play-by-play man Sean Grande:

They each responded with the answer.  It hadn't happened in more than 18 years:

Monday, December 21, 2015

I don't think it matters who plays running back for the Patriots (or any NFL team, for that matter)

Today the Patriots signed Steven Jackson.  The 32-year-old former Pro Bowl-er has been out of the league since last season.  I wouldn't be surprised if Jackson plays a key role for New England down the stretch.  It's also quite possible he does nothing.

When Legarrette Blount went down last week, it didn't bother me in the slightest because I thought Brandon Bolden was perfectly capable of filling his role.  Not only did Bolden appear to be as good as Blount when given the opportunity, so did former practice squad guy Joseph Iosefa, a player I'd literally never heard of until they handed him the ball Sunday.

For half of the season the Patriots made Dion Lewis look like a superstar as a third-down/pass-catching back.  They picked him up off the scrap heap last winter.  Now that Lewis is out, second-year man James White is doing his job just fine.

Last season with the Cowboys, DeMarco Murray led the NFL with 1,845 rushing yards, nearly 500 more than anyone else.  This year he's an afterthought on the Eagles.  None of the league's top eight rushers from 2014 are once again among the top eight in 2015.

I'm convinced there's no such thing as a star running back in the NFL anymore.  Every team has a "next man up" who's just as likely to perform as the guy he's replacing.  With the way offenses are changing (more and more towards passing), it's the system that determines whether or not a runner is successful, not his talent.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

The Steve Harvey / Miss Universe conspiracy theory

If you're an irrelevant beauty pageant trying to stay relevant in 2015, or a past-his-prime comedian looking to hang on, what's your dream scenario?  How about a "mistake" that sets the internet on fire and puts you both in the spotlight:

I don't actually think it was intentional, but Harvey's apology tweet was a little over the top, so who knows...

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Awesome Old Song of the Week: "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate

The British group Hot Chocolate released You Sexy Thing in 1975.  It reached No. 3 on the U.S. Billboard pop charts in 1976.

Whenever I hear this song the first thing that comes to mind is The Fully Monty (if you don't know what that is, think "earlier more comical version Magic Mike"), which I have a hard time believing is already 18 years old.

Multiple sources insist the film is from 1997 though, so I guess that's the case...

Friday, December 18, 2015

This wireless headphones ad makes perfect sense, + it reminds me of my favorite board game

This JBL wireless headphones commercial is dead-on.  Quick sidebar to explain why: I've never owned a cell phone case because I just don't drop my phone, so what's the point.  However, on the maybe four occasions that I have, probably three of them were because I had headphones plugged into it and the wire got caught on something.

Also, the premise of the ad reminds me of Mouse Trap, potentially the greatest board game of all time:

I knew Mouse Trap was old, but until I found this clip I had no idea it was black-and-white old.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Patriots fans, will you root for the Giants to end another perfect season? (so Carolina doesn't go 16-0)

There's a team over in the NFC that is currently 13-0.  In their last four games, the Panthers have put up 44, 33, 41 and 38 points.  They seem to be getting better as the season goes on.

I'm not worried that Carolina being 13-0 makes them a threat to New England winning the Super Bowl (if the Patriots get there, whoever they play will be a threat--neither of those Giants teams they lost to were very good, and the Rams team they beat was amazing).

I am, however, worried that Carolina being 13-0 means they'll probably be 16-0, and that bugs me.  I take a little Pats-fan pride in having the only 16-0 regular season in NFL history.  So what if they didn't end up winning it all?  It's still a record I don't want to see touched.

The funny thing is, we're going to have to root for those freaking New York Giants this weekend to end Carolina's winning streak.  After that, the Panthers visit the Falcons (losers of six straight who Cam Newton and Co. just waxed 38-0) and host the 6-8 Buccaneers.

So go ahead Eli*, ruin another perfect season.

*Of course, the nightmare scenario still exists where the 6-7 Giants win their pathetic division, somehow knock off everybody in the NFC playoffs and defeat the Patriots in the Super Bowl for a third time...

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Which smells worse, the trash or the bag?

OK, garbage definitely doesn't smell good, but I'm convinced that whatever they're using in these bags to cover up the stench releases a toxic chemical into the air that gives me a headache.

Also, I swear there's some sort of residue on the bag that gets all over my hands when I take it out of the box and put it in the can.  Then my hands are contaminated with that same toxic chemical.

The irony of all this is that they are labelled "fresh scent."

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Are they really going to reuse Bill Pullman's speech verbatim in Independence Day 2?

Yes, it's a spectacular movie scene.  But, you can't just recycle a 20-year old speech and play it off like it's naturally happening again.  The people are never go to buy that, and the alien invasion is totally going to be successful the second time around because the citizens of Earth just won't be as hyped up to defend themselves as they were the first time.

So, memo to Independence Day Resurgence, hopefully the speech is either just in the trailer, or when they recycle it in the movie they reference its first time around and incorporate that into the plot in a way that makes sense.  I'm extremely skeptical though.

Also, in case you're interested, here's the ID2 trailer mashed up with the new Star Wars trailer.  Pretty cool:

Monday, December 14, 2015

It's been 15 years since another AFC East team had a better record than the Patriots

This 2014 pic is too good not to bring back.
The Patriots won their 11th game of the season Sunday, their worst-case scenario is now 11-5.  If the Jets win out, their best-case scenario is 11-5.

Back in 2000, the year before Tom Brady took over (and the first under Bill Belichick), New England went 5-11.  In each of the 15 seasons since, the Patriots have had the best record in the AFC East.  They're also the only team in the league to post a winning record every year in that time.  This will be the Pats' 13th division title in those 15 seasons.

In the the two years New England wasn't division champs, it still tied for first place:

- 2002, 9-7, three-way tie with Jets and Dolphins
- 2008, 11-5, tied with Miami (the Matt Cassel season in which the Patriots became the first 11-5 team ever not to make the playoffs)

A decade-and-a-half of AFC East dominance.

Thanks Brady/Belichick.

Here are the previous versions of this post, which has become an annual thing on 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Play the "Real or Fake College Football Bowl Game" game

I sent out a bunch of tweets, some with actual bowl names and some that I made up.  Here are the poll results:













Real - A,C,E,F,G,I,J,L
Fake - B,D,H,K

Also, the St. Petersburg Bowl is real, but it's no longer sponsored by bitcoin.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Awesome Old Song of the Week - Bachelor Party Edition: "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys

I just did a quick interweb search of "best bachelor party songs," and the one that came up more often than any other was the Beastie Boys (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!).  Unfortunately, it never really resonated much with me.

However, from the same Licence to Ill album, No Sleep Till Brooklyn seems pretty appropriate since that's where I'm going.

I may be starring in "The Hangover Part IV"
The worst bachelorette party ever

Friday, December 11, 2015

Derrick Rose is apparently healthy, but not very good at basketball anymore

The oft-injured Derrick Rose has actually suited up for 18 of the Bulls 20 games so far this season.  Unfortunately for Chicago fans, he hasn't been very good.

The former MVP point guard currently ranks 23rd in the NBA in assists with 5.7 per game.  Rose is shooting 36.3 percent from the floor and 23.4 percent on three-pointers.  His scoring average of 13.4 points per game is barely half of what he put up during his MVP campaign five years ago.

Before the season starting, I wrote a piece wondering whether Rose might actually be the fourth-best player on the Bulls (behind Jimmy Butler, Pau Gasol and Joakim Noah).  Based on PER (player efficiency rating), he's 10th at the moment.  Not in the league, on his own team.  Yikes.

Last night Rose attempted this behind-the-back pass:

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Remember iced tea flavored Gatorade? + Is Crystal Pepsi back or not?

I recently had a conversation about whether or not this a product actually existed.  In fact, the only photo available on the internet of iced tea Gatorade appears to be this out-of-focus key chain.

But I assure you, it was real, and it actually tasted pretty good.  I remember drinking Gatorade Iced Tea Cooler at high school tennis matches 20 years ago.

On a related note, Crystal Pepsi appears to have officially returned today.  However, you have to win a contest in order to get some (maybe the lamest contest ever?):

Whether or not Crystal Pepsi will once again be sold in stores remains unclear.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Getting elected to the PawSox Hall of Fame sounds like 'a kinda dubious honor'

On Monday, the Triple-A Pawtucket Red Sox announced they'll be creating their own Hall of Fame.  From the official press release:

The PawSox Hall of Fame will recognize the outstanding careers of former PawSox players, managers, coaches, broadcasters, and executives. A selection committee comprising Pawtucket Red Sox and Boston Red Sox staff, past and present media personnel, area business leaders, and representatives from the community will be responsible for electing candidates.


What immediately comes to mind is this conversation from Bull Durham (Unfortunately I can't find a clip on YouTube):

Annie: I looked up your records -- You've hit 227 home runs in the minors. That's great!
Crash: Don't tell anybody.
Annie: Why not? If you hit twenty homers this year you'll be the all time minor league champ! The record's 246.
Crash: 247 home runs in the minors would be a kinda dubious honor, if ya think about it.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Nets guard Shane Larkin is either an alien or a sorcerer with supernatural powers

This happened last Friday night, and I don't know how I missed it until now.  As far as I'm concerned, this should've been the No. 1 world news story all weekend.  (OK, not really, but maybe...)  Not only is it the greatest block I've every seen, but Shane Larkin also defied the laws of physics/nature/gravity and everything I know to be true about NBA basketball:

Larkin clearly activated some sort of bubble-like force field that allowed him to float through the air at will within inches of the Knicks Jerian Grant (without making contact) until he decided it was time to swat away the shot.

Also, if you like to play daily fantasy sports, I'm a big fan of Larkin tonight on DraftKings.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Here's why I'm not discouraged by the Patriots loss to the Eagles

When the Patriots lost in Denver, I was pissed.  I wanted perfection.  Going undefeated seemed like a real possibility.  But now that loss No. 1 is out of the way and done with, yesterday's unexpected defeat at the hands of Philadelphia doesn't really bother me.

The 10-2 Pats still have the inside track on a first-round playoff bye because the 10-2 Bengals and 10-2 Broncos play each other the last week of the season--that's not even really my line of thinking though.

Here's how I see it: The Eagles debacle was a regression-to-the-mean game.  For so long, things kept going right for New England.  No matter how good you are, it takes a lot of luck to get to 10-0.  Yesterday, everything finally went the other way.  A 99-yard interception return for a touchdown, a punt return for a touchdown and a punt block for a touchdown?!  That's what it took for Philly to beat the Patriots and something like that isn't going to happening again.  It's good to get that out of the way and move on.

The best teams at the beginning of the season don't usually win the Super Bowl (look at last year's Pats, as well as four of the seven previous champions).  It's virtually impossible to keep momentum going all year long (see 2008).  Getting hot down the stretch is what matters.  Now New England can refocus and move forward while trying to build new momentum.

Oh yeah, and don't forget the Pats got the ball at their own 29-yard line with 7:45 to go trailing 35-14, then came within a few plays of sending it to overtime.  I'm more encouraged by the near-miraculous comeback than I am discouraged by everything that happened in the game until then.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Recycle Sunday (No. 17)

The Cavaliers showed a video on their jumbotron of a guy throwing his girlfriend across the room and thought it was funny.  Seriously.

I was surprised when other people were surprised that the hockey header goal didn't count.

Should I be flattered or annoyed that somebody rewrote on of my best articles?

NBA teams almost always make the wrong play in the final seconds of a tie game.

Chicago newspaper lies with statistics for its 'Title Town' headline.

What is the dumbest team name in all of sports?  (It's not what you think)

The greatest tweet I ever tweeted (dreaming about the 2008 Celtics getting the band back together).

Red Sox set absurd team record in honor of Big Papi playing first base (or not?) at Fenway.

Brock Holt: The most unlikely All-Star in Red Sox history.

Cavs General Manager LeBron James intends to keep his position for at least another year.

This Mookie Betts play was a catch, not a home run. The umps got it wrong.  I wonder what NFL refs would call it?

Question: Why don't you see more hair pulling in the NFL?

Previous "Recycle Sunday" posts

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Awesome Old Song of the Week: "Dre Day" by Dr. Dre

From 1992, Dr. Dre's The Chronic was the first serious rap album I ever owned (I'm not counting Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Em and probably some others of the more pop variety).  My favorite track was Dre Day, and the video below is also one of the earliest I remember watching regularly on MTV (at my buddy's house, we didn't have cable).

As with Snoop Doggy Dog's What's My Name, I'm quite impressed Dre was able to create a clean version of this song.

Also, Dustin Pedroia has used Dre Day as his walk-up music for the past couple seasons, which is just cool.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Kelly Olynyk dunks like Tom Chambers, why wasn't it a technical foul?

I remember Tom Chambers used to throw down two-handed double-pump dunks from time to time (unfortunately I can't find one on YouTube so you'll just have to take my word for it, but here's his jam that ranks among the greatest ever).  To the surprise of many, last night Kelly Olynyk pulled off a similar maneuver:

Allegedly the NBA has a rule that says you're not allowed to hang on the rim unless it's for safety reasons (although I'm fairly certain the league just eliminated it without telling anybody).  As you can see in the pic above, there wasn't anybody close to Kelly as he did a chin-up and swung his legs in the air.

Technical foul, right?

Thursday, December 3, 2015

There's no debating Steph Curry is greatest shooter ever--at this rate he may become best PLAYER ever

It sounds crazy, but the way things are going it will be a legitimate question a few years down the road: Will Stephen Curry be considered the greatest basketball player of all time?  He's fundamentally changing the game and making shots nobody else ever has.  There's a million stats I could throw at you (check out this article on, and at some point in the near future I'll make the case that he's better than LeBron right now.

But for the moment, just take a look at what Curry did to close out the third quarter last night (hint, in the picture above, he's about to shoot):

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Are subs fundamentally better when toasted? (Remember those great Quizno's ads?)

I had half of a toasted Italian sub at the airport the other day, and it was delicious.  It reminded me of a great sandwich place I used to go to in Richmond 15 years ago, but I can't think of the name at the moment.

Regardless, I don't think there was anything particularly special about this airport sub, other than the fact that it was toasted.  Which leads me to wonder, should I be getting all my subs toasted?  I go to Subway from time to time on my way to work and I've never once asked them to toast my sandwich.  Am I missing out?

I haven't actually been to a Quizno's, but this train of thought brings back fond memories of their spectacular commercials from 2004:

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Baltimore was just as pathetic as Cleveland at the end of yesterday's Monday Night Football game

Yes, the sad Cleveland Browns lost last night when they had a field goal (for the win) blocked and returned for a touchdown on the final play.  But, everybody seems to be forgetting the fact that the Baltimore Ravens were just as pathetic in the two minutes prior:

Cleveland scored a touchdown to tie the game with 1:47 remaining, leaving one more chance for Baltimore.

However, the Ravens used just 24 seconds (3 plays, 4 yards) and punted the ball back to the Browns with 1:24 left.

Not to be outdone, Cleveland maintained possession for only 27 seconds (3 plays, -8 yards) and also punted.

In an effort to top that, the Ravens threw an interception on the very next play (1 play, 0 yards).

The Browns then actually held the ball for 50 seconds (4 plays 13 yards) before the infamous block-FG/return-TD.

There were six possessions after the two-minute warning--a horrible display of offense by both ballclubs and a pretty stark contrast to the night before when Tom Brady drove the Patriots 51 yards in the snow in the last 1:09 without his top four receivers for the game-tying field goal.

Monday, November 30, 2015

When a screenshot of a SportsCenter graphic is worth 1,000 words...

How do you destroy a perfect season?  Just take away a team's top four receivers in four consecutive weeks.

It looks as though at least two (and probably three) of them will be back, but we'll never know what could have been...

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Awesome Old Song of the Week: "The Ghost in You" by the Psychedelic Furs

I have to admit, I know absolutely nothing about the Psychedelic Furs.  I didn't even realize they were the band that sings this song until just now when I looked it up.  I discovered The Ghost in You from the 50 First Dates soundtrack, which has a version by Mark McGrath (sidebar: 50 First Dates is one of my all-time favorite movie soundtracks--it features reggae remakes of several '80s songs).  There's also a Counting Crows rendition on the Clueless soundtrack, and Duncan Sheik sang it as well.

Here's the 1984 original:

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Why do football players ever make fair catches on punts inside the 10-yard line?

(not the play I saw, a slightly exaggerated representation)
The other day I was watching a game where a kick returner made a fair catch at the seven-yard line.  Here's my best guess breakdown of what would've happened if he'd let the ball land instead:

85% - ball goes into the endzone, then comes out to the 20-yard line.
5% - ball bounces forwards or sideways and is downed at roughly the same spot or further up the field.
10% - ball rolls backwards a few yards and the defense downs it closer to the goal line.

My numbers are obviously subjective and inexact, but the premise is not:  By letting the ball bounce around the 10-yard line, there is a good chance the offense will gain 10 yards to the 20, and a small chance they'll lose a few yards closer to end zone.

The first outcome has both a higher probability of happening, and a greater upside than the possible downside of the second outcome--so why do guys catch the ball so often?

Friday, November 27, 2015

Does any woman actually want to be proposed to on the jumbotron at a sporting event?

Is there any upside here?
At a Celtics game a few weeks ago, a guy proposed to his girlfriend on the jumbotron (sadly I didn't think quickly enough to record/photograph it).

To put it lightly, her reaction was not great--it was more one of shock and horror than excitement or happiness.  It was also unclear whether or not she even said yes.  After several somewhat painful seconds of the entire arena viewing the situation, the camera finally cut away.

I don't understand why anyone would want to do this.  It just feels like a no-win situation all around.  The best-case scenario is mild embarrassment for everyone involved, and the worst-case scenario is an epic disaster on display to thousands of people.

So my question is, would any girl actually want this?  And if so, why?

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