Saturday, May 2, 2015

Awesome Old Song of the Week: "This D.J." by Warren G

During my senior year of high school, Warren G was about as cool as it gets.  Regulate was easily his most famous hit, and the title track of his album Regulate... G Funk Era.

My personal favorite song on the disc was This is the Shack, but its lyrics are wildly inappropriate and I'm fairly certain there's no clean version.

Warren G did, however, produce a video/radio-safe rendition of  This D.J.:

Friday, May 1, 2015

How rare is it for pizza to look gross in a commercial?

I'd like to preface this by saying that in my mind, even the worst pizza is still pretty good.  However, when I saw this Red Barron ad the other day, I was shocked by how not good their pizza actually looks.

Food almost always looks great in commercials.  Advertisers tend to find ways to make even the crappiest stuff appear appetizing.  But in this case, it just looks like cheap, frozen pizza.

I'm not saying I wouldn't happily eat cheap, frozen pizza, I just think they might want to rethink their marketing strategy.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

The "Courtesy of METHUEN SCHOOLS !!!" dad really makes me feel icky

A boy in Methuen got hurt by another kid (or kids) on the playground at school.  His father didn't think the school was doing anything about it, so he posted the following on Facebook (here's a link to the story on Channel 7 news):

I don't know if this dad was out of other more reasonable options or not, but here's what I do know: When you see a picture like this with that caption, the first thing that comes to mind is that a teacher hit the child--and that's just not fair.

Secondly, the newscast featured video of the boy saying "I've always been scared to go back to that school."  During the clip you can clearly see the Dad mouthing the same words at the same time (it also happened again later when the boy was asked a couple questions):

The father told his son what to say, and the two of them clearly rehearsed it ahead of time. I don't know what that means exactly, other than it makes me feel even ickier about the way the dad handled this.

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

I just learned that Tom Brady and the Patriots are a lock to be back in Super Bowl 50 next year

Who's the only active QB in this picture?
During my Little League days in Concord, Massachusetts, I was not particularly good at baseball.  But if I was, I can only imagine my ultimate goal would've been to one day play at Fenway Park in Boston.

Tom Brady grew up in San Mateo, California.  As a kid he attended San Francisco 49ers games at nearby Candlestick Park.  His favorite player was San Francisco quarterback Joe Montana.

Over the course of Brady's legendary 15-year NFL career, he's played in 31 of the league's 32 cities.  The only place he's never had a chance to visit as an NFL quarterback?

San Francisco.

Guess where Super Bowl 50 is?

Book it.  Brady and the Patriots will be in San Francisco on February 7, 2016.  If he wins he'll probably retire on the spot, drop the mic and just walk home.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Bud Light mistakenly promotes itself as 'date rape' beer

For a while now, Bud Light has been been using an "up for whatever" ad campaign.  A natural corollary to being "up for whatever" is "don't say no."  Unfortunately, in the case of alcoholic beverages, that's a very slippery slope.  Bud Light somehow took this to the worst possible extreme, and actually printed the words on a bottle:

This is the kind of idea that someone thinks of, but then the first person it's told to quickly points out its stupidity.  A second person is all it should take to nip it in the bud (no pun intended).  I'm guessing the total number of people involved in the marketing and production of Bud Light is more than one.  Many, many people need to be fired over this, right?


Monday, April 27, 2015

Why there is a 0% chance Kelly Olynyk intended to hurt Kevin Love

After Kevin Love had his shoulder dislocated by Kelly Olynyk yesterday, Love said "I have no doubt in my mind that he did it on purpose."  Granted, it was the heat of the moment and he was justifiably angry, but it was still a ridiculous claim for Love to make.  Here's why there is absolutely no chance Olynyk tried to injure Love:

Kendrick Perkins wanted to rough up Jae Crowder, so he pushed him in the chest.  J.R. Smith was also annoyed with Crowder, and he smacked him in the face.  Those are the kind of things you do when you're pissed off at a guy.  Yet Love is implying that Olynyk (who does not have a single technical or flagrant foul in his NBA career) thought something like:

"Hmm, I want to hurt this guy, what should I do?  I know, I'll grab his arm, pull it at a certain angle, and maybe his shoulder will pop out of his socket.  Yeah, that sounds good."

If Olynyk is that sneaky/brilliant/conniving, he's clearly done an unbelievable job to this point in hiding the fact that he's some sort of evil genius.

Those plays happen all the time in the NBA (including pictured above moments earlier in the same game between the same two players in reverse roles), the results in this case were just very unfortunate.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

LeBron James' full-court shot is nothing compared to his old Powerade commercial

Everybody is going crazy over this full-court shot LeBron hit after practice at the TD Garden yesterday:

Personally, I don't see what the big deal is--isn't what he did in this decade-old Powerade ad way more impressive?

(Yes, I know it's fake.)

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