Saturday, March 15, 2014

Avery Bradley's return doesn't stop the Celtics Tankometer from rising

After winning back to back games vs the Nets and Pistons, the Celtics have now dropped three in a row.  The last two were of the particularly unimpressive variety; first a 24-point home loss to the Knicks, followed by an 87-80 defeat at the hands of the Suns.  Last night vs Phoenix Boston shot a season low 30.9% from the field, and no Celtic players scored more than 11 points.  Avery Bradley finally returned from his ankle injury, but played just 17 minutes off the bench and didn't have much of an impact.

Boston's next two games are in New Orleans and Dallas.  The C's are currently 0-13 on the road vs the Western Conference this season, and if they don't take one of those two they'll finish the year win-less out west.  They follow that up with a home matchup against the Heat and a visit to Brooklyn.  The potential of an 0-4 week could send the Tankometer skyrocketing.

Last week: 56%

Friday, March 14, 2014

The missing Malaysian plane is impossible

In this day and age all you need to keep track of something anywhere on the planet is a tiny little chip.  I'm convinced there are people alive right now that have them implanted inside them and don't even know it.  There are whales swimming throughout the depths of the ocean that researchers are able to locate at any time.  So how is it possible that this giant airplane full of people didn't contain a device somewhere in it that can always be found?

I  don't think it is.  For this plane to be missing, something must have happened that is outside the parameters of what we know of to be possible.  Did it travel into the future?  Another dimension?  An alternate universe?  Aliens?  Whatever the answer is, if/when we find out it will force us to completely rethink the reality that we live in.

A few years ago NBC made a ridiculous TV show called The Event, which in this case seems like as reasonable a scenario as any other.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

"Media madness bracket" lets you choose things like Joe Buck vs Jenny Dell, Bill Simmons vs Rick Reilly, Brent Musburger vs Tara Lipinski/Johnny Weir

USA Today's has created an NCAA "March Madness" tournament style bracket pitting members of the sports media against each other, with polls to determine the winners.  They've broken it down into four "regions," sports talk, television, broadcast, and writers (obviously there is a lot of potential overlap).

I think this is a phenomenal idea, but I feel like they didn't put together the best possible field.  There are several names I don't recognize, and many big ones who've been left out.  The bracket does however do a spectacular job at forcing you to make tough choices (on more than one occasion I wished I could simply vote "no"), none more difficult than Tim Tebow vs Ray Lewis.  Despite my affinity for mocking Tebow, whenever I see Ray Lewis' face on TV I get annoyed that his colleagues can talk to him with a straight face and not say "Hey Ray, why don't you tell me about that time in 2000 when you and your buddies killed two guys?"

If I had to pick an early favorite, I really like Charles Barkley as a #2 seed in the television region.  My dark horse is Scott Van Pelt, the #6 seed in the sports talk section.  When Barkley or Van Pelt takes home the title, remember you heard it hear first.  And if Grantland's "Song of the Millenium" is any indication, I've got a knack for these things.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Darrelle Revis to the Patriots: The hype is bigger than the reality

How about those graphic design skills?
It didn't really bother me when New England lost Aqib Talib to the Broncos yesterday, and I am similarly unexcited by their signing of Darrelle Revis today.  I'm not going to pretend to understand the inner workings of the NFL's salary cap, but it appears that at $12 million for next season Revis will be the second highest paid Patriot after Tom Brady.  That seems like an awful lot to spend on a cornerback, and isn't it a little weird that it's only a one-year deal?

As much as everybody loves football, I just can't get too hyped up about this free-agency period.  I guess I don't believe it really has that great of an impact on the overall balance of power in the league.  Unlike in the NBA, and to a lesser extend MLB, a single player doesn't usually have much of an effect on where an NFL team finishes in the standings (unless it's a Hall of Fame quarterback like Brady or Peyton Manning).

For example, Wes Welker was an integral part of the Pats offense for years.  But then he left for Denver, and both teams were still exactly as good as they were the year before.  New England basically just replaced Welker with Julian Edelman.  In the other major sports player talent is far and away the biggest indicator of success, but in football that's not the case.  Coaching has an enormous role (and for this argument I consider exceptional QB play as part of coaching; it's quality decision making from a team leader), especially on defense.

There are a lot of NFL games where whoever draws up the best plays and defensive schemes wins, regardless of whether Aqib Talib, Darrelle Revis, or "Johnny unknown guy who will step up for the Patriots next season" is in the backfield.


Even though it goes against my premise, I enjoyed this picture too much not to add it.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

I can't wait to blame Andrew Bynum if the Pacers lose to the Celtics tonight

On February 1 the Indiana Pacers signed Andrew Bynum.  If you are not familiar with my distaste for the NBA cancer that is Bynum, read this timeline of recent events.  He hasn't played in a game since last suiting up for the Cavs on December 26, but Pacers coach Frank Vogel announced today that Bynum will see action against the Celtics this evening.

Indiana (46-17) had previously dropped consecutive games only once all season, but now finds themselves losers of four in row (maybe from the karma of Bynum's impending debut?).  The Celtics (22-41) have won two straight for the first time in a month, and are playing their best basketball since Rajon Rondo's return (the other day for CelticsLife I discussed how they are actually still in the playoff race).  Boston also came very close to beating the Pacers 10 days ago, eventually falling 102-97.

At this point in the year pretty much all C's fans are hoping for more losses and a better position in the draft lottery.  If Boston pulls the upset in Indiana tonight, there's no doubt in my mind that it will be the fault of Andrew Bynum.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Awesome Old Song of the Week: "The Glory of Love" by Peter Cetera

Sticking with my Karate Kid theme from last week (because why not?), Peter Cetera's contribution to the The Karate Kid, Part II soundtrack was a Billboard #1 hit in the summer of 1986.

At the end of the movie Daniel gets caught up in a fight to the death with Sato's nephew, the kid with no honor.  Miyagi helps guide his student to victory (although no murder takes place; imagine if Daniel had killed the guy like he was supposed to?  That would have been a surprising turn of events...) by playing a little toy drum.  Supposedly the drum held the secret to karate passed down through generations of Miyagi's family in Okinawa.

I got one of those drums as a souvenir on a family vacation to Puerto Rico, which at the time made perfect sense to me.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Recycle Sunday: Volume 11

What were the people at Skittles thinking when they ditched lime in favor of "green apple"?

Stephen A. Smith insulted me personally on ESPN's First Take.

I think it's ridiculous that people attempt to play (or is "perform" the right word?) "Quidditch" in real life.  But if you insist on doing so, at least do it for real.

A weird commercial got me talking about flavored scotch, the movie Mallrats, and the TV show How I Met Your Mother.

Remember the Sharknado phenomenon?

Recliners in movie theaters are definitely very comfy, but also kind of creepy.

Historical evidence indicates that getting a top pick in the NBA draft lottery has not led to future championships.

Twenty years since the death of Reggie Lewis.  Wow.

"Lojacks" on babies in hospitals should include exploding vials of permanent ink.

A review of the "reality" TV show/Black Dog commercial - The Vineyard.

Of all the bizarre flavored things I've written about, this is the strangest.

An idea for a video game where you get the be the seagull terrorizing beach going humans.

I correctly picked Grantland's "Song of the Millenium" long before it was chosen.

A revolutionary method for applying sunscreen to your back without any help.

My contributions to ESPN Boston's "Celtics Summer Forecast" from last offseason.  Some predictions are better than others...

If a dessert doesn't contain chocolate, it's not as good.  There are no exceptions (this blog also gave me an opportunity to reference Sports Night, one of the greatest sitcoms ever).

The "all the reasons why I can't stand LeBron" compilation blog.

Previous editions of "Recycle Sunday"

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