Saturday, December 7, 2013

Basketball Wives' (or not) Evelyn Lozado makes the rounds of Boston sports teams

In the early 90's there was an SNL skit with Mike Myers called "Coffee talk with Linda Richman."  One of its recurring themes was Myers' character becoming "verklempt," and saying "talk amongst yourselves, I'll give you a topic.  The ___  ___ was neither ___ nor ___."  If this doesn't ring a bell click on the above link, in which Myers says "transitional Romanesque architecture was neither transitional nor Romanesque" (about a minute and a half in, at the 3:00 mark).

Where am I going with this?  That's how I feel about the popular TV show Basketball Wives; it's neither basketball nor wives.  Case in point: today one of it's stars, Evelyn Lozado, was in the news for revealing that she's pregnant with former Boston Red Sox (baseball, not basketball) player Carl Crawford's baby (the two are not married).  Before that she was briefly wed to one time New England Patriot (still not basketball, but I guess she was a wife) Chad Ochocinco.

However, the original reason Lozado was on the show was for being engaged to retired Boston Celtic Antoine Walker (again not married, but at least that's the right sport).  You've got to give her credit though for putting together that impressive hat trick of local athletes from three different sports.  Speaking of "hat tricks," I wonder which ex-Bruin she's got her eyes on next?

Friday, December 6, 2013

"Perfect Polly" takes the cake for depressing "as seen on TV" product commercials

I thought the guy in in the "Forever Lazy" commercial who wears his adult one-piece pajamas out to a football game and needs to use the butt-flap while going to the bathroom was about as sad as it could get.  But the psycho lady who puts her fake bird in a cage and plays with it like it's real may be the lowest of the low.  So congratulations "Perfect Polly" ad, you've horrified me beyond belief.

I'm not sure whether or not this is more depressing than the "Mother's Day at Hooters" commercial.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Derick Rose "won't rule out a playoff return." Hahahahahaha

Ok, so I did a little "cut and paste" trickery with the photo, but that is the real number two headline on right now, and the quote is a screenshot from within the article.  I realize the average NBA fan feels bad for Rose suffering another major injury, but to me this is just laughable.

Really Derrick, you'll play if you're healthy?  You'll come to the rescue of your teammates in the playoffs if you can?  I'm not sure I believe you.  Hmm.  If only there was some sort of historical context to base this on; like a previous example of you being fully healthy and recovered from injury in time for the playoffs...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Jacoby Ellsbury to the Yankees reaction: World Series ride comes to an abrupt halt

First off, I think leaving one team to go to their bitter rival defies everything I know and love about the competitive nature of sports, and I don't understand it.  For more on this concept I highly recommend reading my Clear Headed Ray Allen Reaction piece from when he spurned the Celtics for the Heat.

From a "traitor to the fans perspective," Ellsbury picking New York is worse than Allen choosing Miami.  We had Ray for just 5 seasons when he was already past his prime, and after he'd been with two other organizations previously.  Jacoby was a home grown product who'd been with Boston his entire career, ever since they drafted him in 2005.  Former Red Sox stars gone Yankee Wade Boggs, Roger Clemens, and Johnny Damon also rank below Ellsbury on the treachery list.  Neither Boggs nor Clemens won a championship in Boston, Boggs was nearing the end of the line, and Clemens went to Toronto first.  Like Allen Damon came to Beantown as the third stop of his career, and was only here for four seasons.

But the biggest difference between Ellsbury and Damon is that Damon chose New York in 2005, a year removed from winning the World Series.  He stuck around for the encore/victory tour.  Jacoby just won it all 35 days ago, and now he's gone.  His 2013 championship moments are now decidedly over.  After the parade last month I suffered from a major post-title let down; what else was there to look forward to?  But the thought of next spring's home opener and the World Series ring celebration gives me goosebumps all over again.  I'd like to believe that's a major source of excitement for the Red Sox players as well.  On April 4th, 2014 they'll get the chance to relive their glory together in front of 38,000 screaming and adoring fans.  Ellsbury on the other hand will come back to Fenway 18 days later as a lone mercenary, to a mixed bag of boos and applause.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Over 1000 straight days of blogging, a variety of Celtics news, & another Toucher and Rich appearance

I just spent the last week travelling and visiting family for Thanksgiving, but still managed to get posts up everyday.  My string of consecutive days blogging for has recently passed 1000 (I believe this is 1,011 to be exact).  I'm sort of taking a break, and am going to share the variety of Celtics news I've written about today for other sites:

Around 1:30 am last night I put up a post on CelticsLife showing the statistical decline of Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce this season.  98.5 The Sports Hub's "Toucher and Rich" show interviewed Celtics announcer Mike Gorman today, during which they brought up my article, and asked Gorman his thoughts (at the 1:46 mark).  Rich is clearly a CelticsLife enthusiast, a few weeks ago on the show he actually read directly from one of my columns on the air (at the 23:30 mark).

This morning I also wrote a daily links post for CLNS Radio with all the top Celtics news of the day, and then an update about Rajon Rondo's injury status for CelticsLife.  And finally I just completed a game preview of tonight's Celtics vs. Bucks matchup for CLNS Radio.  A win is probably going to put Boston in first place in their division at 8-12, how ridiculous is that?

So yeah, I realize this blog isn't that great today, but hey, I've been busy.  And now I'm off to go bartend till 2 am.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Jump balls would be better if short guys never had to take them

While watching an NBA game the other day, I saw a point guard make a great play on defense to tie up the ball under the basket.  Unfortunately the opposing player involved in the ensuing jump ball was the other team's center.  The guy with the eight-inch height advantage easily won the tip, and the guard's efforts were all for naught.  This is dumb.  The reward for creating a jump ball is supposed to be an equal opportunity to gain possession, but unless the two players are of comparable heights that's not the case.

The NCAA realized this, so they got rid of jump balls in favor of an alternating possession arrow.  But that's dumb too, because if it's late in the game and the arrow isn't pointing your way, you have no chance of getting the ball in a tie up situation.

I have a much better solution: Why does the guy who created the jump ball have to be the one who actually jumps?  Why not just allow any player on the floor to take the tip?  This seems like a no-brainer, and I can't for the life of me figure out why it isn't the rule already.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Recycle Sunday: 10th Edition

Every few months I dig up several links to old posts I think are particularly good, and call it "Recycle Sunday."  On this occasion something really strange happened: I started working on it last night, just after the news broke of the death of actor Paul Walker.  As I went back to look at options to consider since the last time I put one of these together, the first entry I came across was this:

"The most oddly successful movie franchise I can remember," about the Fast & Furious films, starring one Paul Walker.  Weird.  Now on to the rest of the links.

LeBron James thinks his self-proclaimed royalty extends to the point that the normal laws of physics do not apply to him.

Back on Opening Day I speculated that the Red Sox had as good a chance as anybody else in the AL East.

Debating the issue of whether or not sports fans are cheated when superstars sit out games to rest.  My verdict: Not really.

The week of the Marathon bombing and it's immediate aftermath was unlike any other in the city of Boston: Monday.  Tuesday.  Wednesday.  Thursday.  Friday.  Sunday.

I was just speculating at the time, but the TD Garden PA announcer ruined Paul Pierce's final moment as a Celtic.

I'm all done with coins.  They're dumb.

How to greatly improve "instant replay" in pro sports.  The NHL already does it, and MLB is going to next season as well; the NFL and NBA need to get on board fast.

Before becoming a head coach, Jason Kidd closed out his NBA playing career with an incredible record setting run of scoreless-ness.

The 18 greatest Boston Celtics of all-time, ranked in order.

Whoever invents the sunlight and glare proof computer/cellphone screen is going to be a gajillionaire.

Previous editions of "Recycle Sunday."

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