Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Sports (football) news is just brutal right now

Here are the top six headlines from earlier this afternoon:

All of them are suspension related (the drug testing one allows for Wes Welker and some others to return early from their suspensions).  Yuck.  And, amazingly the Ray Rice situation isn't even on the list.  Is this the ugliest sports time in recent memory?  Honestly I'm not so sure, I think it's very possible the power of the magical internet has just allowed us to become much more aware of and involved in all the bad stuff that famous athletes do.

Some more food for though--most of this garbage is football related.  Is that because it's A) what's happening now, B) the sport we're most interested in, or C) the game that produces the greatest amount bad behavior?  My guess is a combination of all three.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I hope State Farm keeps going with their Saturday Night Live early 90's reboot commercials

So far we've got "The Richmeister" (making copies):

"Hans & Franz" (the "you don't just lift dumbbells, you drink them" line cracks me up):

And the "Da Bears" guys, which has been airing for a while:

So, what should be next?  I'd love to see "Opera Man," although my guess is Adam Sandler is too big a star to get.  Similarly I don't envision State Farm shelling out for the copyrights on Wayne's World, although Mike Myers is definitely a possibility.  How about Linda Richman from "Coffee Talk," or Dieter from "Sprockets"?

I see one surefire winner though, a no-brainer: Pat.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Julian Edelman continues to prove that letting Wes Welker go was clearly the right move for the Patriots

Last January I wrote a post asking if the Patriots made the right choice by not re-signing Wes Welker the previous offseason (I also published an article about it pictured below on Yahoo! that 150,000 people read, but they discontinued their contributor program and the page no longer exists).

Eighteen months ago the average New England fan was not too pleased about the team's decision to let Welker leave as a free agent and sign Danny Amendola instead.  But what nobody saw coming was the emergence of Julian Edleman, who has without a doubt been a better player than Welker ever since.

Welker suited up in 13 regular season games for the Broncos last year, making 73 catches for 778 yards.  meanwhile, Edelman played in all 16 contests for New England, with 105 catches for 1056 yards (read the link at the top for more numbers).

While Welker has yet to take the field this season due to another concussion an amphetamine suspension, Edleman is still cruising right along and leading the Pats with 12 catches and 176 receiving yards through two games.  "Minitron" is also second in the NFL with 81 punt return yards on 6 attempts.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Awesome Old Song of the Week: "Message in a Bottle" by The Police

Once I'd decided to go with a track from The Police album Every Breath You Take: The Singles, picking just one song was basically impossible (check out its Wikipedia page--so many great choices).

In the end "Message in a Bottle" got the nod, but if I did this again tomorrow "Don't Stand So Close to Me" and "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" could just as easily end up on top.

I'd never seen this video before; 1979 Sting is pretty incredible.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Ridiculous photo of the day nominee

This was taken at the Martha's Vineyard fair a few weeks ago:

Since there isn't anyone standing by the sign, it must mean one of two things: Either all of the missing people have been claimed already, or there are so many of them that they are kept in the back somewhere and this lady is looking over a list of names to see if whoever she lost is one of the lucky ones who've been found.

It looks like the guy in the middle behind the fan may be on the radio with the people in the back to confirm if the lady's missing person is actually there.

RELATED: Ironic photo of the day nominee

Friday, September 12, 2014

Orioles to honor Derek Jeter's 'last day game in Baltimore on a Friday' today

The Orioles plan to hold a small ceremony before today's 1:05 pm start time as part the Derek Jeter Retirement Road Show.  Jeter will be honored this afternoon because it will be the last time he suits up for a day game in Baltimore on a Friday.  Upon learning of the Orioles intentions, Jeter said:

"Yeah, it's pretty nice of them to commemorate this occasion, I mean it is the last time I'll get to take the field in this city in the daylight.  Although to be honest, this is exactly the kind of stuff I expected to happen when I announced my retirement eight months ahead of time."

When informed that the O's and Yankees are scheduled for another 1:05 pm contest on Saturday, and that today's festivities were only because it was his last Friday afternoon game in Baltimore, Jeter responded: "Sweet, another party tomorrow!"

For fans who'd like to stick around after the game, the Orioles have announced there will be a brief parade outside the ballpark to celebrate Jeter's last doubleheader ever in Baltimore.

However, those who have tickets for this evening's 7:05 pm matchup are urged not to arrive early for the parade, as they will have their own mini carnival to attend on the field after the third inning in celebration of Jeter's final Friday night game at Camden Yards.

My stab at impersonating a sports headline from "The Onion"
Should athletes really get to celebrate their retirement for an entire season?
What's the greatest way for an athlete to retire?

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Smirnoff Ice 'Watermelon Mimosa' looks quite tasty, why am I just learning of it?

I saw this commercial last night for the first time:

And here was my instantaneous reaction:

Why am I only hearing of this now?  Why didn't Smirnoff shove this ad down my throat back in springtime when they were making me laugh with "deconstructed martinis"?  I could care less about the "Screwdriver" and "Peach Bellini" versions, but something about the look of that watermelon just gets me.

Is it too late?  Is there any chance "Watermelon Mimosa" is still in liquor stores alongside the endless aisles of premature pumpkin stuff?  Summer doesn't officially end until September 23, so by all accounts I should still have two more weekends to go to the beach and drink this.

Also, I'm a big fan of the 5.8% alcohol by volume; that's IPA or ice beer level.

RELATED: I may have to buy Harpoon's entire stock of grapefruit beer

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