Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Pablo Sandoval's $17.6 million walk

Yesterday the news broke that Pablo Sandoval will have shoulder surgery and likely miss the rest of the season.  Here are his final 2016 stats, for which the Red Sox will pay him $17.6 million:

3 games, 6 at-bats, 0 runs, 0 hits, 1 walk, 4 strikeouts, .000 batting average and 1 error

Maybe someday we'll refer to Sandoval's fateful April 9 plate appearance in the 7th inning of an 8-4 Boston win as "the $17.6 million walk."

Through two years (and $35.2 million) with the Red Sox, the third baseman's total numbers are as follows:

129 games, 476 at-bats, 43 runs, 115 hits, 25 doubles, 1 triple, 10 home runs, 47 runs batted in, 26 walks, 77 strikeouts, .242 batting average, .290 on-base percentage and .361 slugging percentage

That works out to roughly $306,000 per hit, or $749,000 per RBI.  Boston will also pay Sandoval an average of just under $18.3 million for 2017, 2018 and 2019.  This seems like a good time to mention an article I wrote for Bleacher Report 18 months ago:

Boston Red Sox: The Case Against Signing Pablo Sandoval

The video to accompany the above belt-busting photo:

Monday, May 2, 2016

LeBron James trying to 'Be Like Mike' in Space Jam 2

The Hollywood Reporter announced today that there really is going to be a Space Jam 2 starring LeBron James, presumably in the Michael Jordan role from the 1996 original.  My initial thought is that this will be another poor attempt by LeBron to "Be like Mike," along the lines of his bizarre failed layup attempt in last year's playoffs:

As much as I hate to admit it though, LeBron was great in Trainwreck:

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Four reasons why a Tom Brady suspension might not be so terrible for the Patriots

First and foremost please, please read the title carefully.  I'm not saying a Tom Brady suspension is a good thing.  The words "might not be so terrible" still definitely imply that it's bad.  But now that a week has gone by since the "suspension back on" news, I'm ready to write about it and I've decided to take an optimistic angle.

So if Tom Brady's suspension actually does stick this time around, here's one potential silver lining for each of the four games he'll miss (in reverse order of importance):

1. We'll get an opportunity to see if Jimmy Garrapolo is any good, which might be worth figuring out sooner rather than later.  Brady will be 39 years old by the time the season starts and chances are he's not actually going to play until he's 45.

2. As I mentioned, Brady turns 39 in August.  A shortened, 12-game regular season could be exactly what he needs, just ask Peyton Manning.  Or Roger Clemens, for that matter.

3.  Last season, New England busted out of the gates, but faded down the stretch and fell in the AFC title game (similar to what happened with the 2007 edition that went 16-0 but lost the Super Bowl).

Two years ago the Patriots started slowly, then got hot and won the Super Bowl (as did the 2001 squad that began the season 3-4).  The same is true for a number of other recent NFL champs, including both Giants teams that beat New England.  The point is, early season struggles don't matter--putting it all together for the playoffs does.

4.  The reason the Pats were so good early on last year was because of the massive chip on Brady's shoulder.  That was after his suspension was nullified.  Imagine the fire that will burn inside of him if he's actually forced to sit out the first quarter of the season?

Watch out, NFL.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Awesome Old Song of the Week: "Dammit" by Blink 182

Dammit, off of their 1997 album Dude Ranch, was the hit that put Blink 182 on the mainstream pop-music map.

Two years later, they really blew up with Enema of the State.  That album's What's My Age Again is probably my favorite Blink song, in part because of the lyric "Nobody likes you when you're 23," which was how old I was when the single came out.

However, Dammit is a very close second and earns the nod for getting the ball rolling.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Will tonight be Paul Pierce's last NBA game? (my ode to 'The Truth' compilation blog)

Without Chris Paul and Blake Griffin, the Clippers are a beaten basketball team.  There's a very good chance their season ends in Game 6 of their first-round series tonight in Portland.  Coming off a scoreless 0-for-3 performance in just 10 minutes of play (despite starting) in Game 5, Paul Pierce appears to be at the end of the line of his Hall-of-Fame career.

In case this is the last time we ever see "The Truth" on an NBA basketball court, here's my ode-to-Paul-Pierce compilation blog (unfortunately I didn't start writing on the internet until 2011, so that's as far back as it goes):

 Clipper Paul Pierce reps Celtics' green in "I hate you Kobe" commercial

Wolves' owner says Garnett wants to play one more year, does that mean Pierce will too?

Video: 14 years ago Paul Pierce scored 46 points in the second half of OT win in New Jersey

Video: The greatest 4th-quarter comeback in NBA playoff history

Paul Pierce's place among the all-time NBA three-point leaders

Pierce signs autograph for Celtics fan, from the bench, while his game is still going on

Where will 'The Truth' finish on the All-Time scoring list?

Awesome Old Movie Clip of the Week: 'You can't handle The Truth!'

Pierce 18th player in NBA history to score 25,000 points

I was crazy not to rank Paul Pierce as one of the five greatest Celtics of all-time

An unbelieveable night at the Garden for Pierce and KG's return

Get ready for "Paul Pierce's Sports Bar and Grille" to open by the Garden in 2023?

Celtics buy full-page ad in the Globe thanking Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett

Did the TD Garden PA announcer ruin Pierce's last moment in a Celtics uniform?

Old man Paul Pierce still triple-doubling

Pierce just did something unseen since Michael Jordan

Paul Pierce's 40-point game at age 35 is even more impressive than you think

Another reason you gotta love Paul Pierce

I'm at a loss for words (pictured)

Man, Celtics-Knicks games are nuts!

Right now the hottest team in the NBA plays in Boston

Thursday, April 28, 2016

It's NFL draft day, and I couldn't care less

No, it's not because the Patriots had their first-round pick taken away (although that doesn't help).  And no, it's not because I'll be at the TD Garden tonight for Celtics-Hawks Game 6, which could be the end of the C's season (but that doesn't help either).

The reason I don't care about the NFL draft is because nobody has any idea which players will actually be good or not, and every year at this time I get incredibly sick of people taking about it.  It seems silly to me to get excited (or annoyed) about guys now, I'd rather just wait and see how they turn out down the road.

If you're interested in reading more of my totally uneducated philosophy on the NFL draft, here it is:

If I ran an NFL franchise, I'd pretty much only draft quarterbacks

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Would you wait in line for a free* (or maybe not) Sacramento Kings tattoo?

The Sacramento Kings just unveiled a series of new logos (above), with the primary one closely resembling an old logo they abandoned two decades ago (right).  As a promotion, the Kings decided to offer a limited number of free tattoos to people willing to ink themselves with the team's new emblem.

A limited number?

How many people did the Kings expect to show up?  We're talking about a ballclub who's most notable players of the last 45 years are Chris Webber and Mitch Richmond.  Come on Kings!  You're an NBA franchise with a net worth of nearly $1 billion, can't you shell out for all 40 fans who actually want a tattoo?  And I'm not exaggerating with the number 40--according to the Sacramento Bee, that's how many people were in line at one of the five tattoo shops participating in the promotion.

The Kings paid for the first 15, which at 140 bucks apiece adds up to a grand total of $2,100.  Via the Bee, the tattoo parlor owner gave discounts to the rest in line and charged them each only $60.  At $80 per for 25 people, that's a $2,000 discount, almost the same amount of money as the Kings paid.  I'm guessing the tattoo shop is worth a tad less than $1 billion.

In the spirit of full disclosure, if the Kings did the same thing at all five shops they spent a total of $10,500, but still...

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