Does the meat on this sandwich look good to you?

I am not a fan of pork belly.  Some people love it, but I don't understand the enjoyment of eating a giant glob of fat.  Having said that, I feel like the pork belly in this Arby's sandwich has to look fairly unappealing even to those who do appreciate pork belly.

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What do you think of this "Anchorman" parody starring ESPN TV hosts?

ICYMI: Here's the much anticipated 'Co-Anchorman' spoof you've all been waiting for pic.twitter.com/ykt341sqlK

— His And Hers (@HisAndHers) September 27, 2016

Yes, it's pretty amazing, the introduction in particular I am very fond of.  However, as a whole, I'm actually a little disappointed.  It's basically the entire scene from Anchorman reenacted word-for-word.  Sure, I like the authenticity, but where is the creativity?  I would have preferred they try to do things along the lines of what happens in the movie that also relate to them being sports personalities.


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Is Arnold Schwarzenegger making fun of himself with this "missile poisoning" line? I can't even tell...

Watch this Mobile Strike (a cell phone game) commercial with Arnold Schwarzenegger:



"Target now out of sight" is a perfectly cheesy Arnold-esque line, that one I get.  But "Call the doctor, looks like you have missile poisoning"?  What does that even mean?  Obviously it's trying to be bad on purpose, but it's so bad that that doesn't work.  It's not funny in parody-of-itself Sharknado kind of way, it's just confusing.  Although, the fact that it prompted me to write a blog probably means it accomplished its goal.  That's a real mind-eff right there...


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I'm not impressed with Dos Equis' new "Most Interesting Man in the World"

In March, Dos Equis sent the Most Interesting Man in the World on a one-way trip to Mars (in reality, the 77-year-old actor was ready to call it quits).  Now, it appears they have found his replacement:

There’s a new Most Interesting Man in the World. Twitter just got more interesting. pic.twitter.com/OQBj2A9lBS

— Dos Equis (@DosEquis) September 7, 2016

It's basically just a younger version of the same guy--which is fine, but if that's all they were going to come up with, why wait six months to do it?  At this point, I was hoping for something a bit more creative.



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Big Papi's new SportsCenter ad, plus Gronk is a terrible Marco Polo player

Here's David Ortiz's latest SportsCenter commercial:



1.  I applaud Papi for his choice of t-shirt.
2.  How pumped do you think Eduardo Rodriguez is that he got to be in this ad with Ortiz and David Price?

And while I'm on the topic of Big Papi commercials, why is Gronk such a terrible Marco Polo player?




RELATED: Music videos from David Ortiz and Rob Gronkowski


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Terrible (or is it?) Current Song of the Week: "The Power to Turn Back Time" by Jon Bon Jovi

As far as I know, pretty much everybody is disgusted by the fact that Jon Bon Jovi has sunk so low to as to use his musical talents in DirecTV ads:





Maybe they are funny, maybe they're kind of stupid, but I will say this: Now that I've heard Bon Jovi sing the line "That's the power to turn back time" about 400 times, it's definitely stuck in my my head--and I don't hate it.

Is it possible that if there was a real version of this song on the radio we might actually enjoy it?  Scary thought...


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Why would I want an omelette pan that doesn't make omelettes?

I saw a commercial today for the Over EZ Omelette Pan.  Unfortunately I was unable to find a video of it to embed from YouTube, but you can watch it here if you like.  Regardless, I'm sure you get the gist of it from the picture on the right.

What is that thing they're trying to call an omelette?

It looks like a sandwich, but instead of bread it's two giant pieces of egg.  Now I'm not saying that it wouldn't taste good or that I wouldn't love to eat it (although I'd also bet large sums of money nothing you cook slides right off the pan the way they say it does), but that egg-based concoction is clearly not an omelette.



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I'll watch Bill Simmons' show, but soup is definitely not the perfect food

Here's the promo for Bill Simmons' new TV show on HBO, which debuts a week from Wednesday: (WARNING - Since it's on cable, he makes a point to swear at the end.)



For the record, I've always been a fan of Simmons and I think his podcast is the best in the business.  However, I have two major gripes with this ad:

1.  Soup?  Are you kidding me?  Maybe if it was something really thick and hearty (like a chili), but that canned tomato stuff in the clip barely even qualifies as a food, let alone the perfect one.

2.  Ban the DH?  The trouble with that, Bill, is then the greatest Red Sox player of this generation, the three-time World Series champion who you also painted as a deity 20 seconds later in this very same commercial, might never have existed.  Isn't that a bit hypocritical?


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Remember when Kevin Garnett and Stephon Marbury wanted an all-nude ESPN The Magazine?

The greatest sign I ever saw a fan bring to a sporting event (Part 2)


When ESPN The Magazine debuted in the spring of 1998, Kevin Garnett and Stephon Marbury teamed up for one of the funniest commercials the network has ever put together (and that's really saying something)--a playful jab at Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue:



I was a junior at the University of Richmond at the time, and this ad was the coolest thing on campus.  Also that March, our Spiders won the Colonial Athletic Conference tournament to qualify for the big dance (where 14th-seeded and perennial giant-killer Richmond upset No. 3 South Carolina in the first round).

And that's the lead-in for the single greatest sign I've ever seen a fan bring to a sporting event (sadly, I don't have a photo).  One of our games that semester was broadcast on ESPN2, so in order to get on TV, a student in the crowd displayed the following:

Every
Spider
Plays
Nude
2 be tasteful

Brilliant.  From yesterday, here's the runner up.


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It's a mattress commercial? Really Tom Brady?

Apparently this ad has been out for a few weeks, but somehow I never saw or heard about it until now:

The first time I watched it, I was thinking this commercial was really cool--until the mattress showed up.

What's Brady going to do in that room with just a mattress anyway?

At least give him some pillows, sheets or a supermodel.



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Will the "Go Lounge" be all over the beach this summer?

In theory, the Go Lounge looks like a pretty good idea...



...but I just don't trust that it's going to work.

One, I have a hard time believing you can really get it to fill up by swinging it through the air.  My guess is when you go to sit on it it's nowhere near fully inflated.  Two, I'm also fairly skeptical that it'll hold the air in--you're probably sitting on the ground after 5-10 minutes.  And three, won't whatever it's made of get really hot in the sun and be extremely uncomfortable to sit on?


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Is the U.S. Army trying to recruit kids to fight space aliens?

The first time the above commercial aired on my TV, I originally thought it was just a U.S. Army ad.  But, I perked up when he said "war of '96" and then really started paying attention when the "Aliens Defeated" newspaper came on the screen.  Because I remember seeing Independence Day in the theater during the summer of 1996 and I knew there was a sequel coming out this year, I figured out what it was for (I like this new trend of movie trailers pretending to be real life, which as far as I know began with The Purge: Election Year).

The weird thing is, when you go to joinESD.com (ESD is an acronym they've made up for Earth Space Defense) the lines are pretty blurred between what is Independence Day: Resurgence promotion and what is trying to get you to actually join the army.  There are definitely some kids out there who will want to sign up because they really think they're going to protect Earth from space aliens...


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I don't trust this Robo Twist jar opener for one second

I think my main motivation for writing this blog is just to give you a chance to watch the incredible interaction between the old woman and the body-builder guy at the 36-second mark of the ad (and pictured above):



Having said that, I'm also fairly certain I could never use a Robo Twist without feeling completely terrified that the jar would explode and spray tomato sauce/pickle juice and tiny glass shards all over my kitchen.


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Awesome Fairly Current Song of the Week / Commercial Mocking Politics: "My House" by Flo Rida

I've seen this add on many occasions lately, and every time I think "That song is pretty cool."



But, somehow I never actually paid enough attention to notice the joke until I found it just now on YouTube.  Well done Spotify, your adds are killing it right now.  And while I don't particularly care for the 20-second rap solo shortly after the two-minute mark, nice work by Flo Rida with My House as well:




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Grandpa Kevin Garnett can't find any good clippers, baby Damian Lillard agrees

I'm so-so on these State Farm "Meet the Hoopers" commercials, but this one definitely made me laugh--particularly baby Damian Lillard with the "No good clipper!" line, which is perfectly timed as the Clippers and Lillard's Trail Blazers square off in Game 1 of their first round series as I write this.





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Well done by Apple TV commercial to have Michael Jordan play the role of Kobe Bryant

No need to explain the irony here: The actor's name is Michael Jordan, although he goes by Michael B. Jordan for obvious reasons.



This comment on YouTube is perfect:

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Not So Awesome Old Song of the Week: "The NeverEnding Story" by Limahl

I have this Spotify ad to thank for putting The NeverEnding Story theme song back in my head:



That's the original actor who played Atreyu in the 1984 film, along with the real voice of Falkor, together again 32 years later.

I was a big fan of the song as an eight-year-old (and an even bigger fan of the movie), but I'm not sure it stands the test of time very well--or has any appeal to people other than children, for that matter.

Wikipedia fact: Limahl is an anagram for Hamill, the singer's actual last name.




RELATED:
Awesome Old Song/Movie Clip of the Week: David Bowie's "Magic Dance" from Labyrinth


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Star Wars began with episodes 4-6, followed by 1-3, then back to 7, now we get a sort of 3-and-a-half?

Here's the trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, which is scheduled to open December 16:



It takes place shortly before the original Star Wars with the plot centered around the rebels stealing the plans for the first Death Star.  But, it's also it's own separate spinoff storyline (sort of) with different characters.  The regular Episode 8 is on track to come out in 2017.


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Fork vs. Spoon: Jordan Spieth's caddy gives him bad advice in SportsCenter ad

Another spectacular SportsCenter commercial:



I have to say, I'm fairly disappointed in Jordan Spieth's caddy's advice.  If there's ever a question between fork and spoon, for my money the answer is always a fork.  You can scoop or stab with it, it fits in your mouth better--not to mention I think people tend to generally look more polite when they eat with a fork rather than a spoon.

Stan Verrett is not going to be pleased with his decision.


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Stephen A. Smith lives in Gronk's stomach?

My initial reaction when I first saw this commercial was one of annoyance that Rob Gronkowksi did an ad with Stephen A. Smith.

But the more I think about it, it does at least seem like a fitting place for Smith to be.  I just wish instead of Gronk saying "Hey little voice in my stomach" the line was something like "Hey extremely loud and obnoxious overly opinionated voice in my stomach..."



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