Did people really think Tim Tebow had a ponytail?

This photo from last night's college football championship game spread like wildfire across the internet:

Tim Tebow with a ponytail?  What??  That's crazy!!!

As hard as that is to believe, what's even more amazing is that he also apparently grew an extra pair of small feminine hands out of his chest:

If you're new to LucidSportsFan.com, I highly recommend taking a look at my old series of Tebometer posts...


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Has Tim Tebow given up? Say it ain't so!

It's now 2014.  Tim Tebow didn't play a single down in the NFL in 2013.  And he barely even saw the field in 2012.  The last time he started a game was in 2011.  And if you saw Tebow's Super Bowl commercials (pictured, in which talks about all the great things he can do while not having a "contract"), it's hard not to wonder if he may have called it quits on his dream of playing quarterback in the NFL.  His career completion rate still stands at just 47.9%, and after tracking it for two plus seasons with the Tebometer, it's looking like he may have officially reached the end of the line.

Don't give up Timmy.  Say you'll be a tight end.  Tell every team that'll take your call that you'll do whatever it takes to help their ball club.  I'm sure somehow some way you get can yourself another chance to throw a few more of those slow wobbly inaccurate passes on the world's biggest stage.  Here's a little motivational speech that might help you:



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Final Tebometer of the preseason (and maybe forever?)

Having a windup like a baseball pitcher definitely doesn't help.

A quick look at Tim Tebow's stats from last night (or reading this morning's headlines) might suggest that he gave a somewhat encouraging performance: 6-11, 91 yards, 2 TD passes, 1 interception.  But, if you actually saw him play, you know differently.  His first touchdown (which went for 52 of the 91 yards) was actually a 15 yard pass over the middle that was late, and much too high; the kind of throw that gets receivers killed.  But because Quentin Sims had to stop and jump backwards to get it (traditionally WR's like to catch the ball in stride, and somewhere in the area of their hands) the defender missed the tackle, and Sims sprinted 37 yards to the end zone.

Tebow's second TD was as garbage as a garbage time score can get. Trailing by a point with 10 seconds left, the Giants went for it on 4th and 8 from their own 17 yard line.  The QB was sacked for an 8 yard loss, giving the Pats the ball on the doorstep of the end zone with 6 seconds remaining.  Tebow's ensuing score came on what normally would be a kneel down play, in the closing seconds of the final preseason exhibition contest.  I defy you to draw up a less meaningful situation in an NFL game.

And don't forget about the interception, on which Tebow's deep ball was so badly underthrown that the cornerback even had to slow down and wait for it to come to him.

I just clicked over and watched half an inning of the #RedSox game before #Tebow finished throwing that last pass. #Patriots
— Mark Vandeusen (@LucidSportsFan) August 30, 2013

Here are his final preseason numbers: 11-30 (37%) for 145 yards, 2 TD's, 2 INT's, and 7 sacks.  As a quarterback he has no business being on an NFL roster.  Unless they have other plans for Tebow, New England should cut him, and the rest of the league would be wise to never give him another opportunity to throw the football again.

Click here for the complete history of the "Tebometer."

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Preseason Tebometer

If Tebow still hasn't learned how to throw, I don't see it happening.

In case you're a new visitor to this site, ever since October of 2011 I've been writing a series of posts under the category "Tebometer," which detail Tim Tebow's ongoing quest to become a 50% passer in the NFL (he's never been able to do it).  Tebow's career completion percentage currently stands at 47.9; for comparison, the worst starting QB rate in the league last year was held by Miami's Chad Henne, at 53.9%.

And while preseason stats have no effect on his career numbers, Tebow's performance in New England's exhibition opener last night was far from inspiring.  He went 4-12 running a dumbed down offense against mostly backup defensive players.  Here's what the Boston Globe's Ben Volin had to say:

"Whereas [Tom] Brady and [Ryan] Mallett go through their progressions and have four or five receivers at their disposal, the Patriots kept it basic with Tebow. Offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels called 15 pass plays for Tebow in his 32 snaps, but they were almost exclusively of the low-risk variety — screen passes and play-action rollouts, in which Tebow was given just one read, and if the receiver wasn’t open he could scramble and make something happen."

And here's my observation from during the game:

I forgot that Tebow's throwing motion takes about 45 seconds... Oh wait, no I didn't
— Mark Vandeusen (@LucidSportsFan) August 10, 2013

In all 8 quarterbacks played in yesterday's contest (5 for the Eagles, 3 for the Patriots), with none besides Tebow connecting on less than half of his attempts.  In fact, the other 7 pass throwers combined to go 45-74, for 61%.

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Is this the end of the Tebometer?

For some time now there have been two athletes I've rooted against more than any others.  The first is LeBron James.  The second is Tim Tebow (to the point that there's an entire category of posts on this site under "Tebometer").  And now Tebow is a New England Patriot.

So what does this mean?  In the long run probably not much.  I think it's fairly likely he'll just sit there on the end of the bench as the third quarterback and never do anything significant.  But what if Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels can actually make something useful out of him?  From a football standpoint I could get behind that.  It might be exciting to see them turn the least accurate quarterback I've ever seen into a functional player in some other capacity.  However, Tebow is still the Evangelical Christian who appeared in a pro-life commercial during the Super Bowl, and that scares me a little.

But if I'm being honest with myself, the thing I've really disliked about him the most is just how big a story he's always been in relation to how poor a quarterback he is.  But is that really his fault?  And if he happens to score a touchdown for the Patriots and the national media goes berserk, will I mind now that it's a member of my favorite team being covered?  This has got me wondering about my attitude towards LeBron as well.  I hate the crush the media has on him, but since he's the best player in the world, maybe he's deserving of it?  Have I been being hypocritical all this time?  Man, this Tebow on the Patriots thing is really messing with me from a sports-philosophical standpoint.

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It's mind boggling that Tim Tebow was bigger news than Jason Collins today

On the day that the first ever athlete in the history of major American pro sports came out of the closet and said he's gay, somehow the bigger news story was the release of a backup NFL quarterback with a 47.9 career completion percentage.  Here's the front page of ESPN.com this afternoon:

In addition to being the top headline, Tim Tebow is also pictured as the featured image on the left.  I'm not just blaming ESPN, Yahoo and other news outlets did the same thing.  And it's not like the Tebow story was already up and the Jason Collins news was just breaking; I first heard about Collins around 11 am, and took this picture just before 2 pm.  One of the most ground breaking and transcending stories in sports history was deemed of less interest than Tebow.  His magic is unexplainable.

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The Tebometer is back!

After a 4 week hiatus, Tim Tebow got back on the field for the Jets last night, and threw one pass.  He did not complete it, ending his streak of 5 consecutive completions (over a span of 5 games), and dropping his career passing percentage down to 47.9%.  Tebow's 0-1 performance earned him a passer rating of 39.6.  Amazingly, starter Mark Sanchez's line of 13-28 for 131 yards, 1 TD, and 4 interceptions was bad enough to receive an ever lower rating, 32.6.  It was the second time this season that Tebow went 0-1, but arguably had a better game than Sanchez.



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The Tebometer rises, but should it?

In the New York Jets 27-13 victory over St. Louis on Sunday, Tim Tebow completed his one and only pass (although calling it a pass is a bit misleading, it was really just a forwarded lateral).   Amazingly Tebow has now put up a 100% completion rate in each of the last 3 games he has thrown the ball.

However, his "pass" against the Rams netted the Jets -1 yard, so in reality an incompletion would have been better.  Combine that with his two rushes for -5 yards, and it was a pretty unproductive day for Tebow overall; despite raising his career completion rate to 48.1%.

I've always focused on his ineffectiveness as a passer, but maybe it's time to pay attention to his sub par ground game as well.  Over the past 8 weeks Tebow has run the ball 22 times for a grand total of 49 yards; an average of just 2.2 per carry.


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Tim Tebow's "best" passing game ever?

During the New York Jets 28-7 loss in Seattle on Sunday, Tim Tebow put forth the greatest completion percentage day of his NFL career.  The Jets backup connected on all 3 of his pass attempts; a very impressive 100% (to the surprise of no one, starter Mark Sanchez was 9-22, 41%).   In fact, Tebow has now completed 4 straight passes going back to his 1-1 performance on October 14th against Indianapolis.  Alas, his career completion rate still stands at just 47.9%.

It's also worth noting that on this momentous day, Tebow's aerial perfection was good for a grand total of just 8 yards, and a 79.2 passer rating.  By comparison, in the same game Seahawks wide reciever Golden Tate was perfect throwing the football as well: 1-1 for 23 yards and a touchdown (a 158.3 rating).

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I've got a good idea for the New York Jets

Running Tebow into the line is dumb.

There's no Tebometer this week, Tim Tebow didn't throw a pass in the Jets 29-26 OT loss to New England on Sunday.  He did get to run the ball four times though, for a grand total of 12 yards.  Even though I don't think he's much of an asset, I assumed the Jets would at least try to use him creatively.  Pretty much all he did was take direct snaps and run straight ahead for a few yards each time.  Currently the Jets are getting basically no value out of their much over-hyped backup QB.  So here's my idea that will at least allow them to get something useful from Tebow: Make him the placekick holder.

Trailing 16-10 early in the 3rd quarter on Sunday, the Jets had a 4th and 2 at the Patriots 3 yard line.  My train of thought (being a Pats fan) as they trotted Nick Folk onto the field went something like this: "Oh nice, their kicking... Wait, what if they fake it?  What if they put in Tebow as the holder?  There's no way they don't get a TD if they do that... He could take it in by jumping over the pile, or run around the outside, or throw it, or roll out then throw it... Good, they kicked it."

Isn't that exactly what they got him for?  Historically backup QB's have frequently been holders anyway.  And if it was Tebow's normal job, other teams would be worried about fakes all the time.  It just makes no sense the Jets don't do that.

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Numbers Watch: Rondo FT%, Sanchez Completion rate, Tebometer

Despite going 11-18 yesterday, the Jets Mark Sanchez has still completed just 49.7% (88 of 177) of his passes on the season.  Teammate Tim Tebow had himself another 1-1 day, lifting the Tebometer back to 47.5%.

On a totally unrelated (but funny to compare) note, Celtics point guard (and much maligned foul shooter) Rajon Rondo is shooting 100% from the free throw line (11-11) so far this preseason.

I can't even fathom what kind of odds you might have been able to get in Vegas on a bet that after 6 NFL games and 3 NBA exhibition contests Rondo's FT% would be more than double Sanchez's completion rate.


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Sanchez-Tebometer Update

Tim Tebow threw his second pass of the season yesterday, unfortunately for him the receiver dropped it.  But that's how it goes in the NFL sometimes, and for the year his completion rate now stands at 50%; 1 of 2.  For his career it drops back to 47.3%.

But the bigger story continues to be Mark Sanchez, who is in the midst of a very Tebow-like run of inaccuracy.  Sanchez was 14-31 in the Jets 23-17 loss to Houston, leaving him just 58-132 over the past 4 games (during that span he has completed less than 50% of his passes in every game; by comparison Tom Brady has completed more than half his passes in 44 consecutive games) and 77-159 on the season; 48.4%.


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Is it time for a Sanchez-ometer?

Sanchez has given us several Tebow-esque performances.

Tim Tebow threw his first pass of the year yesterday, a week later than I predicted.  Surprisingly he was able to complete it, leaving his success rate for the season at a very impressive 100%.  Unfortunately the 1-1 performance didn't do much for his career completion percentage (aka the Tebometer), which is still only 47.5%.

But the Jets backup QB can take solace in the fact that starter Mark Sanchez is doing his best to emulate Tebow's level of accuracy so far this year.  Over the last three games Sanchez has completed just 44 of 101 passes, and for the season 63 of 128; or 49%.

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The Return of the Tebometer?

Was Sanchez bad enough yet for Tebow to get a chance?

When the Jest Jets traded for Tim Tebow this off season, it got me fairly excited for the hilarity I believed would ensue.  My standard answer when asked whether I though Tebow or Mark Sanchez would be the New York starting quarterback this year?  "Both of them will probably lose the job more than once."

Through two games, Tebow has yet to throw a pass.  But Sanchez was bad last Sunday (10-27, 138 yards), and my guess is this weekend we will get to see the first poorly thrown ball of the season from Mr. Tebow.  If this is the case, be sure to check back next week for the resurrection of the Tebometer, which currently stands at 47.3%.

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A very simple answer for why New England rolled Denver

In retrospect, nobody should be at all surprised by the result of the Patriots/Broncos game yesterday.  It's very easy to explain really: Denver wasn't actually any good this year.  They were an 8-8 team that got outscored by 81 points on the season, and made the playoffs through an obscure technicality in a 3-way tiebreaker.  And SEVEN of those eight wins we're of the fluke/lucky/ coincidence variety (they won 6 games by 4 points or less, and one by a touchdown in which their quarterback had only 2 completions).  The Broncos were a team that could have been 1-15, probably should have been 5-11 or 6-10, and we're led by a guy who had easily some of the worst numbers of any NFL quarterback.  Denver's offense was so bad that the much maligned New England defense allowed a season low 252 yards yesterday (including a league-wide season high 14 plays for negative yardage).  And as I've said before, post season numbers don't count towards a player's career statistics; but #15's dismal 9 for 26 performance yesterday would have sent the Tebometer plummeting.

By now I'm sure you've heard all about just how amazing the Pat's offense was in this game.  But here's a few obscure stats that flew under the radar:

- New England ran 64 plays total, but had only 6 third downs in the entire game.
- Part of the reason for this is that they had a whopping 509 yards of offense, an average of 7.95 yards per play.
- By comparison the Broncos had 252 yards on 72 plays, an average of just 3.5 yards.
- All of this helps to explain how the Patriots absolutely dominated the game, despite trailing in "time of possession" 33:23 to 26:37.  That is something you rarely see.

Also, in case you didn't notice, I paid careful attention not to actually mention a certain player's name in this blog.  I'm hoping I never have to again.

Deja Vu in Denver

Four weeks ago "Tebow-mania" was at an all time high.  The Broncos had just won their 6th straight game, and despite unimpressive numbers, people were irrationally crediting Tim Tebow for the unlikely victories. I even speculated that his improbable success could be a danger to humanity.  But the the following weekend Denver hosted the Patriots, got steamrolled, and came crashing back down to earth.  The Broncos lost their next two games after that as well, largely due to Tebow's ineffectiveness leading the offense.

But after Denver's surprising victory over the Steelers yesterday, people seem to have forgotten all over again that Tim Tebow is just not very good at throwing the football.  The one stat nobody is focusing on today; 10 for 21.  Yet again Tebow was unable to complete even half of his passes.  On the other hand, it was pretty impressive the way he sacked Ben Roethlisbeger twice on the final drive of regulation, knocking Pittsburgh out of field goal range and sending the game to overtime, despite standing on the sidelines the whole time.  And maybe I'm not giving Tebow enough credit for willing Demaryius Thomas to throw that ridiculous stiff-arm, then allowing him to out run two Steelers for 65 yards to win the game.  Hmm...

So now we're back to exactly where we were 4 weeks ago.  The Broncos are headed to New England, and the nonsensical Tebow bandwagon is up and running again.  It reminds me of that quote, "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing but expecting different results."

Tebometer Monday: The end of the road.

On a day when the Green Bay Packers backup QB completed 31 of 44 passes for 480 yards and 6 touchdowns, Tim Tebow had easily his worst game of the season.  In fact, it was one of the worst games played by any NFL quarterback in recent memory.  Tebow went just 6 of 22 for 60 yards with a fumble and an interception, dropping his career completion rate down to 47.3%.  Even though the 8-8 Broncos managed to back into the playoffs despite the loss, postseason stats don't count towards a player's career numbers; so the Tebometer will not move again until next season.

When I first created it 9 weeks ago, the number stood at 48.1%.  At this point I think there is a definite possibility that Tebow will never get to 50%.  The improbable run of fluky victories has already allowed him to keep his job much longer than he should have.  If other teams have 2nd string QB's capable of putting up numbers like the Packer's Matt Flynn did, it makes no sense for someone as inaccurate as Tebow to be given the opportunity to keep starting.  Unless something astounding happens vs the Steelers next week, it's looking more and more like we've already seen the best of what Tebow has to offer as an NFL quarterback.

Tebometer Monday: I told you so!

On the Eve of the birth of Jesus, the Broncos "quarterback" completed 13 of 30 passes, lowering his career rate to 48.5%.  I spent all last week telling anybody who would listen that the Bills were going to beat Denver (they crushed them 40-14), and that the Broncos string of ridiculously good luck had run out.  After their loss to New England the week before, I suggested that Tebow's best days as an NFL quarterback might already be behind him.  Nothing that happened on the day before Christmas should make anybody think otherwise.  The ONE thing that Tebow had done consistently well this season was not turn the ball over.  But on Christmas Eve he threw 4 interceptions, including 2 for touchdowns; on back to back plays.  The Broncos will still be the AFC West champions if they beat Kansas City next Sunday (or if the Raiders lose to the Chargers), but even if they do make the playoffs I think they are a team to be taken lightly.

And for anybody who hasn't figured this out already, I'm trying to point out the humor in the fact that Tebow loves Jesus, but had a terrible game for Christmas.

Tebometer Monday: logic and reason finally prevail

Yesterday Tim Tebow completed 11 of 22 passes, which brings him to 148-302 for his career, exactly 49%.  And for the first time in 7 weeks, the Broncos didn't win.  There was no fumble, missed field goal, or player inexplicably running out of bounds to save Denver this week.  No more late game magic.  Although I have to admit, with New England leading 34-16 on the first play of the 4th quarter, I was temporarily afraid it was all going to happen again.  It looked like the Patriots had Tebow sacked in the end zone for a safety, then he dropped the ball, and it was either going to be a defensive touchdown or a safety.  But somehow he manged to pick it back up, avoid getting tackled, and still get a throw off; leaving the result of the play as just an ordinary incompletion.  Then on the next snap (which was a 3rd and 10) Tebow had a ridiculous scramble.  But he didn't quit get the first down, and the madness was over.  For now, the fate of humanity is safe and sound.

I'd also like to state for the record that we may have already seen the apex of Tim Tebow's career as a starting quarterback in the NFL.  I could well be wrong, but I definitely think it's possible that it's all downhill from here.  And in case you never read Tebometer version 1.0, it's a "Tebow-meter," but it's pronounced "Teh-bah-meh-ter," like "thermometer."  Hence the graphic on the right.

The continued unexplainable success of Tebow and the Broncos could be detrimental to society

First the simple stuff: Tim Tebow went 21-40 yesterday, lifting his career completion rate to 48.9%.  My thoughts on Denver's latest ridiculous comeback win are exactly (everything I wrote last week) x 10.  I can't wait to see what happens when they play New England next Sunday.

Ok, now here's the controversial part: I think the fact that Tim Tebow and the Broncos continue to win games they shouldn't is potentially harmful to humanity.  Tebow is an Evangelical Christian who is not hesitant to share his beliefs, to the point that he ran a pro-life TV commercial during the Superbowl last year.  My take on religion is that everyone has the right to believe whatever they want, but it's dangerous and closed-minded to try to impose what you think on others.  To some people with similar beliefs as his own, Tebow's irrational success at winning football games enforces the notion that they are right and everyone else is wrong.  Isn't the world a better place when people are open minded and accepting of the differences of others?  But the appearance to some that the Denver Broncos victories may be aided by Tebow's religion encourages the faith of many who think otherwise.



If you adamantly disagree with what I am saying, before you freak out take a step back, reread the line in italics, and try to see the situation from a different point of view.  And also keep in mind that this is just one of many whimsical, antagonistic, lighthearted, and hopefully amusing ideas that cross my mind and make it onto this blog.