Saturday, March 19, 2011

the "1800 just poured me a shot" commercial is a lie

if you notice, they don't show him flipping the bottle back over and taking the cap off with the shot in it.  they don't show it because you can't do it.  give it a try, i guarantee you spill tequila all over the place.  i do like how they rip on patron though, especially the other version of the ad where he kicks the bottle off the table.  patron has somehow used hip hop artists to become the greatest marketed inferior product out there.  they've become the only "premium" tequila that anyone knows about, but there's literally 85 tequilas at my bar i'd recommend before patron.

Friday, March 18, 2011

wolverines destroy volunteers, longhorns advance as well

timmy hardaway jr and the wolverines are super hot right now.  they closed out the big ten season going 9-4, but of their 4 losses 2 of them were close games against #1 ohio st, another was by 2 at illinois, and the last was by just 1 pt vs #12 wisconsin.  they came into today's matchup a 1.5 pt underdog vs tennessee, which looked about right when the volunteers were leading 23-17 with seven minutes to go in the half.  but michigan then outscored them 58-22 the rest of the way to win by 30, which is an absolutely ridiculous blowout for an 8-9 game.  oh, and i definitely remeber having that 1990 hoops tim hardaway card. 

texas got by oakland despite a late rally to make it a close game.  i'm writing about this one because i like the longhorn's final four chances.  they were in the debate for a 1 seed two weeks ago before they lost 4 of their last 8.  i'm also kind of picking them by default; i hate duke, i don't believe san diego st is actually any good, and i think uconn already had their magic in the big east tourney.  plus ever since i lived in austin for a few months i've liked rooting for the 'horns.

spiders win, spartans lose

i was working and only sporadically got to watch the game, but from what i saw towards the end, kevin anderson was absolutely awesome.  the off balance fade away rainbow jumper with 20 seconds left was as big time a shot as you can make.  and how about this number: only 3 total turnovers in the game by richmond.  and thanks to morehead state's upset of louisville, we get to be favored next round. 

the title of this post makes a lot more sense if you read what i wrote on wednesday.  right now my sarcastic final four picks are looking a lot better than the PTI guys real picks

Thursday, March 17, 2011

today is the absolut perferct storm of days to play hooky

st. patrick's day.  the first warm weather this season.  and the first day of the tournament, the greatest sports day of the year.  i can't believe i have to go to work now.  one quick tournament story that sums up how awesome this day is:  back in 1994, before everyone had internet and cell phones, i remember sitting in modern european history class in high school around 1 pm on this day.  mr joseph walked into the room during the middle of class to hand mr lilien note.  that's the kind of thing that happens when there has been some sort of natural disaster, or someone's family member has died.  he looked at the note and said "liberty 29, north carolina 28."  of course carolina went on to win that game easy, but the thought of a 16 over 1 upset was enough to interrupt class.

also i LOVE the fact that every game is on tv now.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

bracket advice: nobody knows anything

my sister emailed me today asking for advice about her tournament picks.  i looked over her bracket, and decided it was just as good as anybody elses.  that got me thinking, nobody knows what's going to happen.  not me, not my sister, not my buddy who watches 10 games a week, and definitely not the "experts" in the sports media.  the other day i was watching first take on espn2, and all the panelists were giving their final 4 picks.  mateen cleaves, former michigan st spartan, picked ohio st, duke, kansas, and michigan st.  really?  three #1 seeds and your alma mater, a 10 seed?  really?  that's about as shallow and uneducated a pick as you can make, and he's on tv.  hey espn, my picks are ohio st, duke, pitt, and richmond, can i be on PTI tomorrow?

BREAKING NEWS:  so i originally wrote this entry around 3:30 this afternoon, but now wilbon and kornheiser just ruined my joke by also both picking michigan st on PTI tonight.  or does it just prove my point even more?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

If Andrea Zuckerman is 65 now, how old was she on 90210?

Back in the fall I set my DVR for the new show "The Event."  It was kinda cool for a few episodes, but I don't think it did very well cause NBC pulled it off the air.  well, for whatever reason now it's back, and my DVR still records it.  I put it on in the background today while I was doing laundry, and towards the end of the show I looked up when I recognized a voice I couldn't place: Andrea Zuckerman, back from the dead.

Monday, March 14, 2011

NFLFA asks fans to boycott games

in response to the owner lockout and the NFLPA's attempt to ruin the draft, the NFL fans association (NFLFA) is asking fans to boycott games in 2011.  and not just live in person, but also on television.  they request that on sunday afternoons we watch movie reruns of "rush hour 3" on tbs instead.  ok, so that's a totally fake thing i just made up.  is this blog too much like "the onion?"

to quote the great meatloaf, "two outta three aint bad"

stingy bucks hold celtics to 87 points, but still lose by 31. huh?

when i was at work and not paying much attention to the game i looked up at the score around this time, and i just assumed it was the 2nd quarter, not the 3rd.  wow.  i would have enjoyed writing about this game a lot more if that crazy wisconsin-penn st game hadn't just happened.  56 total points was an all time low for the bucks, and an all time best for the celtics defense.  the bucks leading scorer was a D-league guy named earl barron who put up 10 points.  that's all, this blog feels really unoriginal.  anyway, pretty feeble couple of days for basketball in the state of wisconsin.

Sunday, March 13, 2011


U of Richmond A-10 champs. one of the all time tourney giant killers is back.  the last time UR won their conference tournament was my junior year 13 years ago, we won the CAA and rushed the floor at VCU.  then on spring break in daytona we watched them upset south carolina in a 14 over 3 matchup.  probably the first time i ever watched a big game in a sports bar.

Advice for when you're buying a round of drinks in a crowded bar

As a bartender the following situation happens to me at least once a night: a guy comes up to the bar when it's busy and waves his hands or says "excuse me" trying to get my attention.  Usually I say something to the effect of "I'll be right with you," and finish taking care of the person I am already helping while he stands there impatiently.  When I am able to get to him, he orders his drink, then turns around and asks each of his friends what they want.  This always blows my mind.  Why wouldn't anyone use the time they were standing and waiting to already find that out?  Isn't it common sense not to get the bartender's attention until you know what you're going to order?  Am I crazy?

On a mostly unrelated tangent inspired by this picture, I simultaneously love and hate the movie "Cocktail."  The movie as a whole is one of my favorites, but the specifics of the bar scenes are ridiculous.  Like in this part at the club opening, it takes both of them combined 2 minutes to make a single drink, but hundreds of thirsty people miraculously don't mind because they are dancing and throwing things.

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