Monday, February 17, 2014

My plan for becoming a 2018 Winter Olympian

I'm pretty sure I could be as
"Caymanian" as this guy.
Step 1:  Move to the Cayman Islands.  I've always though that looked like a pretty cool place ever since Tom Cruise and Gene Hackman hung out there in The Firm.  The Cayman Islands have one athlete representing them in Sochi (and the only winter Olympian they've ever had): a skier named Dow Travers (pictured) who trains in Aspen, Colorado.  He went to college at Brown University in Providence, and also has Canadian and British citizenship (as well as Caymanian; yes that really is the proper term).

Step 2:  Become a citizen.  Google tells me the population of the Cayman Islands is roughly 60,000.  How hard can it really be to gain citizenship?  Is anybody else even trying to do that?  I'd like to think I'd have to put in about the same level of effort that George Costanza did to convert to Latvian Orthodox.

Step 3: Round up four other guys there and start a curling team.  I realize it'd be a lot easier to pull this off on my own with an individual event.  But I'm going to be 40 years old by the time the next games role around; way past my athletic prime.  And I'm not that eager to go hurtling down an icy track at 75 miles per hour, so curling is really the only thing left.  Plus there are plenty of places to train around here when I come back north for Celtics games.

Step 4: Practice for four years.  Then it's off to PyeongChang (South Korea, 2018) as the proud captain of the Caymanian curling team.

In all honestly some super rich person (I'm thinking Mark Cuban maybe?) should try something like this, and make a documentary of the whole process.  And in case you missed it, here's the explanation for why I have my own LucidSportsFan Sochi logo.


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