The other day I stepped into a Payless shoe store to buy some black socks. I grabbed a package off the rack and walked up to the register. It cost $6.99 for six pairs, a pretty good buy I think. As I pulled a twenty out of my pocket the guy behind the counter said "Can I have your zip code?" No big deal, I know they like to do research on where their customers come from. Then he said "Phone number?" I was slightly put off, but again I thought maybe they just want to know what area codes are shopping in the store, so I told him. Now here's a transcript of the rest of the conversation:Payless guy: "Name?"
Me: "Um...(long pause) Mark?"
Payless guy: "Last name?"
Me: "Vandeusen (getting irritated, still holding out the twenty dollar bill)."
Payless guy: "Address?"
Me: "Why do you need all of this (while glaring at him like he's lost his mind)?"
Payless guy: "They want to send you coupons. You can just give me your email address."
Me: "No, I don't want to do any of that (probably now looking like I want to stab him)."
Finally he took my cash and I left. Here's what I don't get: It's not like I was buying a 72 inch flat screen at Best Buy. It's freaking PAYLESS. I don't think anything in the store even costs more than $30. And don't they have a permanent buy one get one 50% off sale? Do they really think I want their coupons; in the mail no less? That's like ten times worse than the Trader Joes Flyer. And I was paying cash, for one $7 item. The next time a guy buys a drink from me at the bar, when he holds out his money I'm going to ask him for his name and address. We'll see how well that goes over.
Recently I wrote a post ripping a Wall Street Journal article entitled "How Waiters Read Your Table" because I thought everything in it was just common sense. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I am giving humanity too much credit. Because this Payless guy was clearly not reading me at all. The whole interaction made me feel a lot like Jonah Hill in The 40 Year Old Virgin:
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