I have a new goal in life: Get a Chipotle celebrity burrito card

Danny Ainge showed this off to Celtics media yesterday:

My idol. pic.twitter.com/VtVM3na2Ci

— Chris Forsberg (@ESPNForsberg) October 11, 2016

Since first seeing that tweet, here's what I've discovered about Chipotle's custom-made burrito cards:  They allow you to have one free burrito per day, for an entire year (or possibly for life).  Chipotle also doesn't like to talk about them and neglects to offer any info about the cards on its website.

From a 2013 Yahoo Sports Big League Stew article on Bryce Harper's:

"The celebrity card program is small," Chipotle communications director Chris Arnold told The Stew in an e-mail. "And we don't really share enough detail on it to make much of a story out of it."

New life goal: Reach a point where Chipotle deems it wise to give me one of these.


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Do you know about Turkish ice cream vendors as magicians/comedic theatrical performers?

I came across this tweet the other day:

Deep down my dad is pissed lol pic.twitter.com/tQvw4GKexv

— Mahmood A (@yung_mood) September 19, 2016

It prompted me to do a little YouTube research, and apparently these ice-cream-serving entertainers are commonplace in Turkey:








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How awesome is this hypercolor chameleon car?

I jogged by this spectacular hypercolor-looking car today (Miami Vice might also be a good description):

As I passed by it, I realized the colors were changing.  In the above photo, the side of the car is blue.  From the slightly different angle pictured below, it's purple:

It's a chameleon!  I need one of these, stat.

On a related note, it might be time for me to add a blog category (check them out, listed on the right side of the page) labelled "Weird cars I see while jogging at Castle Island in South Boston."

Previous examples:
Why would this guy take "professional" pictures of himself wearing a tux in front of a Porsche?
What's going on with this creepy spy van?
What do you make of this "Navy SEAL" car?
Have you ever seen a padlock on a car door?


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Could you eat this avocado-bun burger?

Taste-wise, I think this thing would be awesome:

People are using avocados as "burger buns": https://t.co/fF7sYOfY2Y pic.twitter.com/68BwaVVbRM

— Kari Van Horn (@KariVanHorn) August 8, 2016

However, you might as well just put the burger on the plate with an avocado next to it because there is no possible way to pick that up and take a bite.  In terms of stability, you'd have much better odds of pulling it off with the onion slice on top and the burger patty on the bottom.  Avocado would still come squirting out, but at least you'd have a fighting chance.  As is, it'd be like trying to eat an ice cream cone without a cone.


RELATED: Could you eat this cucumber sandwich?


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Lottery tickets make convenience stores very inconvenient

When I go into convenience stores, I'm usually in a bit of a hurry.  More often than not, it's just a quick stop while I'm on the way to somewhere else.  That's what they're designed for, hence the name.  However, one aspect of them is decidedly inconvenient--the person who somehow always seems to be standing in front of me at the counter buying lottery tickets.

I honestly believe that roughly 50 percent of the total time I spend in 7-Eleven, Cumberland Farms, Tedeschi's, etc. is just waiting in line behind somebody getting lotto tickets.  Why do there have to be so many different kinds of scratch tickets anyways?  And why do the people purchasing them care so much about which ones they get?  The conversation with the store clerk usually goes something like this:

"I'll take two of those, on the top.  No, no, those--to the left.  Yeah.  And four of those, down at the bottom.  Not there, there.  Yeah, OK.  No, four of them.  OK, also two of that one over there.  No, there.  Yeah.  How much is that?  But I thought this one was $3?  It's $5?  OK, never mind, put those two back and get me one of that one in the middle instead.  No that one.  Yeah."

By now I've already drank the coffee I made for my trip to work and am debating just leaving without paying for it.


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I'll pass on Summer Ale popsicles (even though they do sound kind of good)

I will say this--these things actually look pretty tasty and this is definitely a solid marketing attempt by Sam Adams:

Cool down with an ice cold #SummerAle BREWsicle!

Get the simple recipe here: https://t.co/bvGFT8lZAG pic.twitter.com/ONbayCTCD8

— Samuel Adams Beer (@SamuelAdamsBeer) July 6, 2016

However, there are two major flaws with the recipe (click the link above):

1.  It requires juicing a bunch of lemons and grapefruits, as well as shaving zest from the peels.  I'm guessing the type of person with a kitchen set up to juice and zest fresh fruit is generally not the type of person interested in beer-sicles.  It reminds me of this graphic (and the accompanying blog) from three years ago:

2.  If I'm making boozy popsicles out of lemons and grapefruits (with a bunch of sugar too), Summer Ale would not be my liquor of choice to add.  Vodka seems like a much more efficient and cost-effective option.

Here's my alternate suggestion for you, Sam Adams: Put the fresh juice and lemon zest in the beer yourself and brew a nice grapefruit summer shandy.  I'll buy a ton of those.


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A bathroom door opener for your feet is a pretty solid idea

I saw this thing in a restaurant bathroom for the very first time the other day, and I'm honestly shocked that they're not everywhere.

This seems like such a no-brainer.  Nobody wants to touch the doorknob of a public restroom after washing their hands.  I'm sure there's also a huge percentage of the population that has serious anxiety about it.

Problem solved.

It worked fairly well in my first-ever field test, although I could definitely envision it being difficult for some people to use with a heavy door.


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What's going on with this guy watching fireworks inside a bubble?

Sorry the photo isn't better, was afraid to get too close.

While taking in some July 4th (actually on the 2nd) fireworks on a crowded beach the other night, one man was 100-percent determined not to get any bug bites.  His solution was this single-person chair-shaped clear tent (pictured).  The funny thing was, when the fireworks started he didn't look up from his phone the whole time, so he might as well have just sat at home in his weird little bubble.

Something else I can't figure out--what's the intended purpose of this contraption anyway?  I can't imagine there's much of a market for transparent solo tents to protect yourself from insects during fireworks shows.

Could it be for watching sporting events in the rain?  That reminds of the absurd "Forever Lazy" infomercial that tries to convince you it's OK to wear their adult onesie pajamas to football games.


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Why would I want an omelette pan that doesn't make omelettes?

I saw a commercial today for the Over EZ Omelette Pan.  Unfortunately I was unable to find a video of it to embed from YouTube, but you can watch it here if you like.  Regardless, I'm sure you get the gist of it from the picture on the right.

What is that thing they're trying to call an omelette?

It looks like a sandwich, but instead of bread it's two giant pieces of egg.  Now I'm not saying that it wouldn't taste good or that I wouldn't love to eat it (although I'd also bet large sums of money nothing you cook slides right off the pan the way they say it does), but that egg-based concoction is clearly not an omelette.



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I don't understand how this 5-foot tall Lego animal could cost $15,000

There's a story on ABC News about a Lego structure (pictured on the right) that was accidentally knocked over and destroyed (pictured below) by a small child shortly after it went on display at the Lego Expo in China.

Allegedly, the statue cost $15,000.  Hmm... I'm not buying it.

Hypothetically, maybe there are $5,000 worth of Legos in that thing (which seems really high to me, there aren't any fancy pieces there, just a bunch of basic different-colored blocks--it also looks like the spine may have been built out of Duplo?).  I want to say the pieces should cost $2,000 max, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

As far as construction goes, what's the growing rate for assembling Legos?  Twenty bucks an hour seems more than generous for something you could get the 10-year-old version of me to do for free.  According to the report, it took the artist three days to put together.  Even if the guy worked three straight 20-hour days, we're still only looking at $1,200 in labor costs.

Design, on the other hand, is a different story.  I could see the architect (who in this case is probably the same guy) getting/paying himself $100 an hour to plan the whole thing out.  But, then it would still take roughly 90 hours to hit the $15,000-mark in total.

No way.

Plus, the pieces themselves aren't actually broken, so their value is retained.  Also, I bet it could be rebuilt in one day tops given home much is still intact.

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I'll pass on paying $399 for a Celtics folding chair used at the new Garden

Bring the courtside action into your home! Get an official Celtics Courtside Seat today: https://t.co/hP1cgUDTgR pic.twitter.com/RrL7TOWgrM

— Boston Celtics (@celtics) May 24, 2016

"A piece of history" for a padded 10-year-old folding chair made me chuckle, @Celtics. https://t.co/mKf1ZM0Udf

— Adam Himmelsbach (@AdamHimmelsbach) May 25, 2016

"Made me chuckle" is a nice way to phrase it.  Here's what it says on the Celtics website when you click on the link to buy one of the chairs pictured above, for $399:

"Take advantage of this exclusive offer to own a piece of Celtics history by purchasing an authentic courtside seat from TD Garden, the home of the 17-time world champion Boston Celtics.

Each seat was in use at Boston Celtics games at TD Garden from 2005 until October 27, 2015.*

*Courtside seats were added and rotated in between 2005 and 2013. Specific use dates are not available for each individual seat."

Come on Celtics.  You're better than this.  It'd be one thing if these were seats from the old Boston Garden, but don't try to pass off anything since the Fleet Center days as "a piece of Celtics history" (unless you can guarantee it's from the 2008 Finals, but that'd still be a stretch).  This is just degrading to your actual history.

Oh, and in case you're the one crazy person who wants to fill your entire house with $400 folding chairs from which somebody may or may not have once watched Wally Szczerbiak play basketball, you can't--there's a limit of four per person.


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Will the "Go Lounge" be all over the beach this summer?

In theory, the Go Lounge looks like a pretty good idea...



...but I just don't trust that it's going to work.

One, I have a hard time believing you can really get it to fill up by swinging it through the air.  My guess is when you go to sit on it it's nowhere near fully inflated.  Two, I'm also fairly skeptical that it'll hold the air in--you're probably sitting on the ground after 5-10 minutes.  And three, won't whatever it's made of get really hot in the sun and be extremely uncomfortable to sit on?


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It's Gronk's world and we're all just living in it

Yesterday, the news broke that Rob Gronkowski will be on the cover of EA Sports' Madden NFL '17 video game...

Rob Gronkowski named Madden 17 cover athlete, calls it ‘surreal’ https://t.co/ujzCcROULd pic.twitter.com/W6dWLbuUYI

— Mike Petraglia (@Trags) May 12, 2016

...AND the cover of the June edition of GQ Magazine.

Again, both announcements came yesterday.

Proud to be the June cover of @GQMagazine!
Check it out here:https://t.co/sPRtrwBeI9 pic.twitter.com/pt6UHaaqTA

— Rob Gronkowski (@RobGronkowski) May 12, 2016

Gronk is the first Patriots player (and the first NFL tight end) ever featured on the Madden game box.

On the other hand, Tom Brady has graced the front page of GQ many times (at least five, by my count).


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I don't trust this Robo Twist jar opener for one second

I think my main motivation for writing this blog is just to give you a chance to watch the incredible interaction between the old woman and the body-builder guy at the 36-second mark of the ad (and pictured above):



Having said that, I'm also fairly certain I could never use a Robo Twist without feeling completely terrified that the jar would explode and spray tomato sauce/pickle juice and tiny glass shards all over my kitchen.


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The one and only zero-calorie skinny margarita

I get frustrated when people come into my bar and order skinny margaritas.  They don't exist.  Booze has calories, a lot of calories.  Worrying about a bit of juice or sugar in your alcoholic drink is like ordering a bacon cheeseburger without the cheese.

Here is the one and only true skinny margarita:

Polar seltzer should probably put me on their payroll.  Oh, by the way, here's another public service announcement: Club soda, soda water and seltzer are all the same thing--just water and bubbles.  Tonic is different, that has sugar.


Click here for many more awesome blogs about unusual flavors of stuff.


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Apparently DeMar DeRozan is not a fan of Donald Trump?

I tweeted this photo of Amir Johnson chatting with his former teammate DeMar DeRozan after the Celtics-Raptors game Wednesday night:

I was surprised to get several responses from people who were pleased with the Toronto All-Star for showing his opposition to Donald Trump.  Apparently DeRozan had an "F-Trump" hat on his head (notice I didn't say "wearing"):

Here's a more detailed view of what the cap looks like:

In semi-related Celtics news, Jae Crowder was still wearing a walking boot on his sprained right ankle:

I asked Mike Gorman last night when he thought Jae Crowder would be back. He said for Portland, a week from today (3rd game on road trip)

— Mark Vandeusen (@LucidSportsFan) March 24, 2016

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Budweiser video beer cooler: Awesome or stupid?

I saw this Budweiser video cooler in the liquor store today.  The concept of it is awesome, but I think the reality of it may be stupid.  I was standing there for a long time looking at other stuff on the shelves before I even realized that it was a cooler full of beer--I just though it was a video billboard or something.  It's very difficult to see inside, which makes it nearly impossible to pick out what you want without opening the door.  That defeats the whole purpose of a glass-door cooler to begin with.

But, if part of the revolving ad listed exactly what was inside the cooler, then I might be on board.  On the other hand, I'd not sure I'd pay attention long enough to notice.

Watch the Vine below, or click on the picture to expand it and get a better view.





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What do you think of this single-can fridge? Also, why would anyone want to warm up a can of soda?

I really like the idea of this tiny, tiny refrigerator.  If I ever work in an office, I'm totally getting one to plug into my computer.  Then I'll buy 12-packs of Polar flavored soda cans to keep under my desk and just rotate them through my super-mini fridge one at a time.

Also, I wonder how long it takes for this device to get a drink cold?  Instead of lugging a cooler full of ice and beer to a party, could somebody bring a bunch of cans and this little thing instead?  Would it chill your next beverage in the time it takes to drink the first one?

You can buy it for only $19.99, so it's definitely worth finding out.  But here's the weird part--it's labeled as a cooler/warmer.  From the product description on ThinkGeek.com:

-Thermoelectric cooler/warmer
-Chill a can down to 46° F / warm a can up to 149° F
-In-line switch included at no charge to change between warm & chill with LED indicator
-Yellow when cold
-Red when warm
-Capacity: Fits 1 US standard 12 oz. can

Um, what?  When has anyone ever wanted to warm up a beverage that comes in a 12 oz. can?


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Definitive proof that all Fruit Loops taste the same

My wife bought this box of Star Wars cereal a while back when her nephew came to visit (not to say I wouldn't totally buy Star Wars cereal for myself though):

Here's what it looks like (minus the marshmallows, which I removed to verify the results of my experiment):

Those little colorless spaceships taste exactly like Fruit Loops.  All Fruit Loops.

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Go Plate vs. Snackeez: Which stupid infomercial product would you rather use?

What are the odds I'll be at barbecue sometime this summer where people start handing out Go Plates?  Or, even more intriguing, what if one kooky person shows up with their own Go Plate just for themselves?



I will say this, I'm much more likely to use a Go Plate than I am to wear a GoBelt.  Good luck tossing a football around with a full Go Plate though--that's just a mess waiting to happen for pretty much everybody on Earth besides Odell Beckham Jr.:



But, I do like the idea of having a Go Plate for when you walk up to a table of food.  I never know what to do with my drink in that situation and it's basically impossible to get everything you want to eat unless you set your beverage down somewhere.

The general concept of the Go Plate is the same as the Snackeez--carrying both your food and drink in one hand.

While the Snackeez may provide significantly more security and prevent against spills, it can't hold anywhere near as much.  I'd also be willing to bet the Snackeez is a lot more complicated and time consuming to fill up.  When you factor in the cost (for $9.99 you get 10 Go Plates, but only one Snackeez), the Go Plate is the clear winner in my book.

Go Plate vs. Snackeez: Which stupid infomercial product would you rather use? https://t.co/p7tFcWHQSv

— Mark Vandeusen (@LucidSportsFan) February 4, 2016

RELATED:
Improving the "Dump Cakes" infomercial
"Perfect Polly" takes the cake for depressing "as seen on TV" product commercials
Does anybody own a Stone Wave?
Why would anybody want this "toy" designed for taunting your cat?
"Forever Lazy" is out of their mind with their marketing



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