I need to be able to send myself email from my brain

Most of my best ideas come when I am doing one of the following three things: Jogging, showering, or lying in bed trying to fall asleep.  I guess that makes sense though, since those are the occasions that my brain is unoccupied and free to wander.

However, it's a sad irony that those are also the times that it's most difficult for me to make note of these inspirations.  Solution?  I need to be able to send myself an email directly from my brain.  Then when I wake up/get out of the shower/get home, there it is, sitting in my gmail inbox.

That should be doable, right?  I mean, it looks like people first started figuring out how to send emails between brains back in 2014, and I don't even need to get my messages into a second brain.


Follow @LucidSportsFan

Is Arnold Schwarzenegger making fun of himself with this "missile poisoning" line? I can't even tell...

Watch this Mobile Strike (a cell phone game) commercial with Arnold Schwarzenegger:



"Target now out of sight" is a perfectly cheesy Arnold-esque line, that one I get.  But "Call the doctor, looks like you have missile poisoning"?  What does that even mean?  Obviously it's trying to be bad on purpose, but it's so bad that that doesn't work.  It's not funny in parody-of-itself Sharknado kind of way, it's just confusing.  Although, the fact that it prompted me to write a blog probably means it accomplished its goal.  That's a real mind-eff right there...


Follow @LucidSportsFan

How long before somebody invents carrot-celery?

I saw this truck yesterday waiting in line to get on the Martha's Vineyard ferry.  I know those things pictured on the back are carrots with the leaves cut off at a certain length, but what do they really look like?

How about some sort of hybrid half-carrot/half-celery?  Imagine how great that would be?  That's probably an even better idea than strawberries with mint flavored leaves.

I googled Gordon Food Service, and even though there's no mention of them being on the cutting edge of genetic engineering in terms of splicing vegetables together, I'm sure they're just keeping that side of the business quiet pending FDA approval.


Follow @LucidSportsFan

James Young knocks down 3s in practice with the coolest rebounding machine ever

Here's a video of James Young working on his jumper at the Celtics practice facility in Waltham the other day:

@CelticsLife @CelticsJunkies @LegionHoops @celtics JY puttin in that work pic.twitter.com/BWak5RLDHY

— Omar_Elsherif (@BallinOMAR) July 31, 2016

Courtesy of @BallinOMAR

What impressed me the most here is not the fact that Young drained several threes in a row with a hand in his face (easy-peasy for an NBA shooter), but rather the spectacular rebounding machine he was using.

I would've killed to have one of those things in my driveway when I was 13 years old.  In fact, I'd probably still be out there today extending my range and trampling my mother's flowerbed--either that or playing in the NBA after launching 10,000 three-pointers a day my entire childhood.


Follow @LucidSportsFan

I'd like to see a genetically engineered strawberry with mint flavored leaves

I had this idea while prepping the bar the other day for strawberry mojitos.  First, I was ripping the useful mint leaves off the stalk, then I was slicing the useless strawberry leaves off the fruit.  Bingo.

Once somebody genetically engineers a strawberry with mint-flavored leaves, bartenders will be able to just throw the whole thing in the glass and start muddling.  And that's just option one--we've got a blackberry-basil margarita on the menu that could be easier to make as well...

If they can already put any flavor in the world in soda water (or jelly beans), this sort of technology can't be that far away, right?


Follow @LucidSportsFan

NFL Twitter account hacked, how big a deal is this going to be?

So this happened today:

It took the @NFL account 4+ minutes to delete this obviously hacked tweet. pic.twitter.com/tyidNhfEDL

— Mark Van Deusen (@LucidSportsFan) June 7, 2016

And the @NFL hack is still happening... pic.twitter.com/OB0EISE9Bw

— Mark Van Deusen (@LucidSportsFan) June 7, 2016

How big a story is this going to be?  As people like to say, the NFL "owns a day of the week."  The account has 19.2 million followers (currently listed as the 63rd most-followed account in existence).  The first hacked tweet, and what I assume was a third hacked tweet, came 10 minutes apart.  I can't even imagine the level of freak-out that was going on in the league offices during those 10 minutes...

New playbooks are in pic.twitter.com/RsZEq07VxQ

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) June 7, 2016

Follow @LucidSportsFan

Why would this guy take "professional" pictures of himself wearing a tux in front of a Porsche?

Sorry I don't have a better photo, but I didn't want to be too obvious that I was snapping a picture and I had to get a safe distance away first--you never know how somebody taking bizarrely staged selfies on the waterfront in South Boston is going to react...

The thing that's really funny to me is that if this guy actually owned the tuxedo he's wearing and the Porsche he's standing in front of, he'd never pick the Castle Island parking lot in Southie as the scenic place to shoot his "professional" selfie.

Did he rent both for the day in an attempt to get a picture of himself looking like a "baller"?  For what purpose would somebody do that?  Is that the kind of stupid stuff guys use to try to impress girls with their Tinder profiles?  Also, if he plunked down the cash to get the tux, car and camera, why not also invest in another person to take the photographs, if for no other reason than to at least make the experience not feel quite so embarrassing?  Not to mention, why not take the time to drive to a nicer beach?

Please, if you have any reasonable explanations for this I'd love to hear them.


UPDATE - Best response so far:

@LucidSportsFan broke lawyer making his own commercial "Better Call Saul" style. Not a doubt in my mind.

— Thomp (@Thomp_26) May 17, 2016

Follow @LucidSportsFan

Budweiser video beer cooler: Awesome or stupid?

I saw this Budweiser video cooler in the liquor store today.  The concept of it is awesome, but I think the reality of it may be stupid.  I was standing there for a long time looking at other stuff on the shelves before I even realized that it was a cooler full of beer--I just though it was a video billboard or something.  It's very difficult to see inside, which makes it nearly impossible to pick out what you want without opening the door.  That defeats the whole purpose of a glass-door cooler to begin with.

But, if part of the revolving ad listed exactly what was inside the cooler, then I might be on board.  On the other hand, I'd not sure I'd pay attention long enough to notice.

Watch the Vine below, or click on the picture to expand it and get a better view.





Follow @LucidSportsFan

What do you think of this single-can fridge? Also, why would anyone want to warm up a can of soda?

I really like the idea of this tiny, tiny refrigerator.  If I ever work in an office, I'm totally getting one to plug into my computer.  Then I'll buy 12-packs of Polar flavored soda cans to keep under my desk and just rotate them through my super-mini fridge one at a time.

Also, I wonder how long it takes for this device to get a drink cold?  Instead of lugging a cooler full of ice and beer to a party, could somebody bring a bunch of cans and this little thing instead?  Would it chill your next beverage in the time it takes to drink the first one?

You can buy it for only $19.99, so it's definitely worth finding out.  But here's the weird part--it's labeled as a cooler/warmer.  From the product description on ThinkGeek.com:

-Thermoelectric cooler/warmer
-Chill a can down to 46° F / warm a can up to 149° F
-In-line switch included at no charge to change between warm & chill with LED indicator
-Yellow when cold
-Red when warm
-Capacity: Fits 1 US standard 12 oz. can

Um, what?  When has anyone ever wanted to warm up a beverage that comes in a 12 oz. can?


Follow @LucidSportsFan

Did ESPN.com listen to me about their terrible box scores?

Last weekend I discussed how ESPN.com changed its basketball box scores and removed a lot of useful information.  This was the junk that was available:

Just a few days later, the box scores changed again to much more closely resemble what they used to be:

Yeah, I know this is maybe the most boring thing ever to many of my readers, but I spend a lot of time looking at NBA box scores--the fact that ESPN.com used three different versions of them in the span of a week is bizarre.

I'm just going to assume somebody in charge over there read my complaint and tried to make amends.


Follow @LucidSportsFan

ESPN.com changed its box scores and made them much, much worse

Here is what an ESPN.com basketball box score used to look like, with one team listed above the other (this was the only screenshot I could find in the depths of my computer--it's just the top half):

And this is what they look like now (with the teams side-by-side):

The new one has much less information.  You can still get the full box score for both teams by clicking on separate tabs, but then you can't compare them each head-to-head at the same time.  ESPN.com just lost my stat viewing business to either Yahoo or NBA.com, and I'm betting the same is true for a lot of other media people and fans alike.


Follow @LucidSportsFan

Did anybody else get aggravated by this on Facebook?

When I logged onto Facebook Sunday, this is what I saw:

It irritated me for two basic reasons:

1.  Why would any of my friends possibly care if I am watching the Super Bowl?  What's next Facebook?  Are you going to start pulling this sort of crap all the time?  "It's morning!  Let your friends know if you're eating breakfast."

2.  I think Facebook has actually forgotten that in the status box it says "What's on your mind?"  Why bother asking the question if it's just going to tell you what's on your mind for you?  I'm sick of Facebook always trying to get me to do things.  No, I don't want to say "Happy Birthday!" to the random guy I worked with eight years ago.  Back off!


Follow @LucidSportsFan

What if you could pause your TV and internet at the same time?

I got this idea from a tweet I saw the other day:

How has Twitter not added feature to rewind timeline or portion of it when watching time-shifted sports, awards shows or other TV?

— Carl Bialik (@CarlBialik) January 30, 2016

I don't want this to be just a Twitter thing though, I think it's much bigger than that.  It should be part of the entire system you have in place from your cable/internet provider.

Lots of people watch TV while simultaneously viewing corresponding things through various websites and social mediums on their computer, tablet or phone.  The signal for the internet comes from the same place as the one for the television, so Comcast/Verizon/Time Warner/whoever should create a pause button for the whole thing.  That way when you stop the game/The Bachelor/the Golden Globes to go to the bathroom, your ESPN updates/Facebook statuses/Twitter timelines could stay in the same place.

I'm have no idea how this would work for web interactions with other live humans, but hey, it's still a fun idea in theory.


Follow @LucidSportsFan

Can we stop calling these things "hoverboards" please?

The thing pictured above is not a hoverboard.  It's just a mini Segway that apparently catches on fire a lot.  Even though Back to the Future II predicted hoverboards would be in existence last year, they haven't been invented yet.

To call these silly little rolling things "hoverboards" is like giving up on science (and an insult to the concept of hoverboards in general).  What if the Wright brothers had been satisfied with a hang glider and had never invented an actual airplane?  We'll get to real hoverboards someday people, just be patient!

And man, will that day be awesome.

Follow @LucidSportsFan

Andre the Giant, Wilt Chamberlain, Arnold Schwarzenegger and a Danny DeVito tweet bot

What the hell is a Danny DeVito tweet bot?  Well, I'll tell you:

Yesterday I saw this great tweet of an old picture that made Arnold Schwarzenegger, an enormous human being, look like a small child:

Wilt Chamberlain, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Andre the Giant on set of Conan the Destroyer https://t.co/nRc97u6ZyX pic.twitter.com/JW4jcdyOBi

— Old Pics Archive (@oldpicsarchive) January 21, 2016

That got me thinking of the movie Twins in reverse, so I retweeted the original pic and added this one with the caption "And Arnold with Danny DeVito..."

I got this response:

Danny has heard ye. https://t.co/CG7jRWlvtn

— Danny Devito Bot (@DannyDevitoBot) January 21, 2016

Somebody created an automated account that searches for tweets mentioning Danny DeVito and responds to them.  Why this exists I have no idea.  Even weirder is the fact that whoever is obsessed enough with Danny DeVito to do this somehow doesn't know he capitalizes the V in his last name.


Follow @LucidSportsFan

It's definitely time for MLB to use a robot umpire behind the plate

Yesterday, ESPN.com posted an article about why an automated home-plate umpire would improve Major League Baseball.  I couldn't agree more.

One of the things I like about baseball compared to other sports is that for the most part, umpires (or referees) don't determine the outcome of close games.  Alternatively, this happens all the time in the NBA and NFL.  In those leagues refs can call fouls or penalties on just about anything, and the inconsistencies in their decisions frequently affect who wins and who loses.

With MLB, that's not really the case.  When somebody gets a game-winning hit, there's rarely any debate.  In football and basketball players defend each other, which gives referees the ability to award penalties and fouls if that defense is not played fairly.  In baseball, guys defend the ball--either they make the play or they don't.  It's not up to umpires to decide things like "no that's not an out, you defended too aggressively to make that catch, I'm ruling it a hit instead."

However, there is one part of baseball where the umps do have complete control and human error plays a major part: Calling balls and strikes.  Check out the stats in the article I linked to above on the difference between hitting with an 0-1 count vs. 1-0, or 1-2 vs. 2-1.  They're staggering.

The TV networks broadcasting the games already show us whether or not balls cross the plate in a batter's strike zone.  Why not just give this info to umpires to make their calls?  It seems like a no-brainer.


Follow @LucidSportsFan

Was I too hard on Twitter's changes yesterday? Polls are awesome...

Right after I posted my blog yesterday ripping Twitter for trying to be like Facebook, I noticed something else different about the tweet machine--a button to add polls (pictured).  I have to say, this cool new feature far outweighs the minor annoyance of red heart icons and pop-up direct messages (which I'm sure I can turn off anyway).

So well done Twitter, you're back in my good graces.

Do you like the new Twitter polls? I think I do.

— Mark Vandeusen (@LucidSportsFan) November 3, 2015

Follow @LucidSportsFan

Twitter is trying to be like Facebook, and that's not good

The other day I got a direct message on Twitter, and it popped up in the bottom right corner of my screen, just like a Facebook instant message (and for the record, I liked Facebook better before it switched its messages to IMs as well).

Today, Twitter changed its yellow star "Favorite" button to a red heart "Like" button:

This is stupid for two reasons: One, Facebook is dying away.  Twitter is different.  People who like Twitter use it because it's different.  And two, when I "Favorite" something it doesn't mean I actually enjoy it, it just means I'm bookmarking it for later.  So now when I "Like" a Celtics reporter's tweet about Avery Bradley's injured hand to use as a reference, to him it looks something like this:

How dumb is that?  Although in the case of this bookmarked tweet, I actually did like it:

Everybody is upset that "favorites" on Twitter are now "likes," instead of calling them "bullshit non-retweets" like we all asked

— MGK (@mightygodking) November 3, 2015

Follow @LucidSportsFan

What's the longest you've ever had the cable guy stay at your house for?

So when you make the cable appointment, you have options like "between nine and twelve" or "from noon to four."  Apparently, sometimes that actually means "from noon until four" (or beyond).

Yesterday, I had a 12-4 appointment.  The guy came at 9:45 a.m., but whatever, I figured it'd be nice to get it out of the way early.

By noon he hadn't solved the problem--in fact, it had gotten much worse.  He left, then came back at 3:30.  When 6:30 rolled around it looked like a bomb went off in the apartment.  Finally, at 9:45 p.m., 12 hours after he arrived, he gave up and went home.

Nothing is fixed.

And for the record, I don't blame the guy--Lou, he has a name, I feel like I know him well now--he tried every possible trick in the book, including running a test wire out the window and 200 feet down the block.  I blame all his superiors at Comcast who refused to believe him when he kept telling them it was an issue on their end.

You know how when you call the cable company and they ask you questions like "Are the wires plugged in?" and you want to scream back "Yes, I'm not a moron, I checked that!"?  Well, that's basically what happened to Lou for six hours...


Follow @LucidSportsFan

Anybody understand the point of the new "Moments" thing on Twitter?

The other day I noticed a funny lightning bolt logo accompanied by the word "Moments" on my Twitter navigation bar (pictured above).  I'm sure I could just check Google and discover the answers I'm looking for, but this is more fun.

When I click on "Moments" I get what appears to be a list of several of the day's top news stories, but they have no particular relation to me or anyone I follow.  So what's the point, Twitter?  What do you want me to do with this?  And why don't you just call it "News" anyway?

Or even better, put "Analytics" there instead.


Follow @LucidSportsFan